Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A woman came up behind her husband while he was enjoying his morning coffee and slapped him on the back of the head. “I found a piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name “Marylou” written on it,” she said, furious. “You had better have an explanation!” “Calm down, Honey,” the man replied. “Remember last week when I was at the dog track? That was the name of the dog I bet on.” The next morning, his wife…
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“Are you sure this is your house?” the cop asked the thoroughly sozzled gentleman. “Shertainly,” said the drunk, “an’ if you’ll jesh open the door f’me, I’ll prove it to you.” “You shee that piano?” the drunk began. “Thash mine. You shee that TV? Thash mine, too. Follow me, follow me.” The police officer followed as he shakily negotiated the stairs to the second floor. The drunk pushed open the first door they came to. “Thish ish my bedroom,” he…
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A lady is sitting in a roadhouse bar drinking; when she asks the bartender where the bathroom is located. The bartender tells her that the toilets broken, but she can go out back and squat next to the dumpster if she wants. The lady has been drinking pretty heavily so she staggers out back. She pulls her panties down and relieves herself, but she is so drunk she passes out . A trucker who has been on the road for…
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Marilyn had a parrot for a pet, but the parrot would embarass her whenever she came into the apartment with a man. He would shout out all kinds of obscenities, always leading off with “Somebody’s gonna get it tonight! Somebody’s gonna get it tonight!” In desperation, Marilyn went to her local pet shop and explained her parrot problem to the pet shop proprietor. “What you need,” he said, “is a female parrot too. I don’t have one on hand but…
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He’d been playing golf for years, and he had the finest equipment but his technique never improved a bit. As his friend watched, he teed up at the first hole and promptly drove a brand-new ball into the woods. On the second hole he drove another new ball into a lake. On the third, he lost a new ball in another part of the woods. “Why don’t you use an old ball?” his friend asked. “I’ve never had an old…
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A blonde was cooking in her kitchen one morning and she started a grease fire (big surprise!) so she called 911 (after looking up the number of course). She finally reached the fire department and said, “Help! I have a fire, please come quickly!” The fireman responded, “Ma’am, how do we get there?” The blonde responded, “Big red truck, DUH!”
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When creating email addresses, many colleges and businesses tend to strip the last name down to 6 characters and add the first and middle initial to either the beginning or end. For example, Mary L. Ferguson = mlfergus or fergusml. They are just now beginning to realize the problems that may occur when there is a large and diverse pool of accounts. Add to that a large database of company/college acronyms and you have some very funny addresses. TOP TEN…
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A very elderly couple went to see a lawyer. They were ushered gently into the lawyer’s inner office, and sat across the desk from the attorney who was studying the couple’s papers. He looked up after a moment. “How can I help you today, Mr. and Mrs. Watson?” The woman piped up in a thin, reedy voice. “We’ve come to get your help in filing for a divorce.” “A divorce?” The lawyer was stunned. “If you don’t mind my asking,…
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Grandpa hears some banging noises on the side of the house. He looks out the window and sees his grandson with a hammer, driving some weird-colored nails into the side of the house. “Junior,what are you doing with those nails?” Junior looks up at Grandpa, and replies.”These aren’t nails, Granpa, they’re worms!” Sure enough, on closer look they are! “Where did you get those from, boy? Worms are supposed to be soft and squishy, NOT hard and firm like that!”…
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Many many years ago when I was twenty three, I got married to a widow who was pretty as could be. This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red. My father fell in love with her, and soon the two were wed. This made my dad my son-in-law and changed my very life. My daughter was my mother, for she was my father’s wife. To complicate the matters worse, although it brought me joy. I soon became…
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