Inheriting Intelligence
A little boy went up to his father and asked: “Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?” The father replied: “Well, son you must have gotten it from your mother, ’cause I still have mine.”
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Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Co ed Jokes - page 238
Final Words
The National Transportation Safety Board recently divulged they had funded a project with the US auto makers for the past five years. The NTSB covertly funded a project whereby the auto makers were installing black boxes in four wheel drive pickup trucks in an effort to determine, in fatal accidents, the circumstances in the last 15 seconds before the crash. They were surprised to find in 49 of the 50 states the last words of drivers in 61.2% of fatal…
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As Big As Texas
A Texan went to Chicago and thought he would buy a new “city” outfit. He went into Marshall Fields and when asked by a sweet young woman if she could help him, answered, “Yes ma’am, ya see, I’m from Texas and I want to buy a complete outfit.” Well, her eyes lit up as she asked, “Where would you like to start?” “Well ma’am. How about a suit?” “Yes sir, what size?” “Size 53 … tall, ma’am.” “Wow, that’s really…
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Moose Hunting
Moose Hunting Two hunters went moose hunting every winter without success. Finally, they came up with a foolproof plan. They got a very authentic female moose costume and learned the mating call of a female moose. The plan was to hide in the costume, lure the bull, then come out of the costume and shoot the bull. They set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, donned their costume and began to give the moose love call. Before long,…
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Unlikely Carpool Candidate
An employment interviewer for a big company in Atlanta was talking to an attractive, young woman applying for a job. Looking over the application form, the interviewer noticed that the girl had not answered one important question concerning transportation to and from work. “What about your bus line?” the interviewer asked her. “I must have overlooked that one,” came her reply. “It’s 36C.”
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Aliens, Legal and Otherwise
Fu, Bu, and Chu immigrated to the US from China. They decided to become American Citizens, and “Americanize” their names. Bu – called himself “Buck.” Chu – called himself “Chuck.” Fu had to go back to China.
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Daddy’s Password
While my brother-in-law was tapping away on his home computer, his ten-year-old daughter sneaked up behind him. Then she turned and ran into the kitchen, squealing to the rest of the family, “I know Daddy’s password! I know Daddy’s password!” “What is it? her older sisters asked, eagerly. Proudly she replied, “Asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk!”
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Goofy doctor
A certain doctor was making his daily rounds at the hospital. The nurse on duty came up to him with a patient’s file and said, “Doctor, when you changed this patient’s medication, you forgot to sign her file.” The doctor reached behind his ear to retrieve his pen so he could sign the form, but was surprised to find a rectal thermometer there instead. “Shit!” cried the doctor. “Some asshole has my pen!”
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Parlez-vous Francais?
One hot day,two roadworkers are laying asphalt on a back country road when a United Nations limousine pulls up next to them,and an official-looking man gets out. He looks at both men and asks, “Parlez-vous francais?” The two men just look at him confused. He then asks, “Usted habla espanol?” Again,they just stare at him. “Sprechen Sie deutsch?”, he asks. No answer. “Parlate italiano?” Still, no reply. Disgusted,the man gets back into the limo,and it quickly drives away. One worker…
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The Tree Huggers
A few years ago a group of tree-huggers was presenting an alternative to the ranchers for controlling the coyote population. It seemed that, after years of the ranchers using the tried and true methods of shooting and/or trapping the predators, the tree-huggers had a “more humane” solution. What they proposed was for the animals to be captured alive, then castrate the males, then let them loose again, and then the population would be controlled. I, kid you not, this was…
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