Co ed Jokes - page 225

Golf Balls

An avid golfer goes to the local golf course to get in a couple hours of practice after work one day. He hits a large bucket of balls on the driving range, but still hasn’t corrected the slice he’s working on. Not having enough money to buy another bucket of balls and being all alone on the practice tee, he walks up the edge of the driving range picking up balls in the weeds and bushes so as not to…

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Adam and Eve limmerick

In the Garden of Eden, As everyone knows, Lives Adam and Eve, Without any clothes. In this garden, Were two little leaves, One covered Adam’s, One covered Eve’s. As the story goes on, Nevertheless to say, The wind came along, And blew the leaves away. At the sight, Adam did stare, There was Eve’s treasure, All covered with hair. And wonder came, Under Eve’s eyes, As Adam’s thing, Started to rise. They found a spot, That suited them best, A…

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heckler

“A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse spoke the actor dramatically from the stage. “Would a jackass do?” called out a heckler in the balcony. “Why yes,” said the actor. “Come on down.”

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Strangers On a Train

A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarassment, they both manage to get to sleep; the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower. In the middle of the night, the woman leans over and says, “I’m sorry to bother you, but I’m awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly pass me another blanket.” The man leans out and,…

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Packers vs. Vikings

Once a long time ago, there was a season when neither the Packers nor the Vikings made the post-season playoffs. It seemed so unusual that the management of both teams got together and decided that there should be some sort of competition between the two teams, because of their great on-going rivalry. So they decided on a week-long fishing competition. The team that catches the most fish at the end of the week wins. On a cold, northern Wisconsin lake,…

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School Daze

Mom was trying to get her son to get out of bed and get ready for school. “I am not going to school!” the son responded defiantly. “Why not?” Mom wanted to know. “Well, first of all I hate school and second of all ..the kid all hate me!!” was the answer. “Son, that’s not good reasons..you will have to get up and ready for school!” Mom replied. “Well, give me two good reasons why I should,” the son said.…

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Two Soldiers

Two soldiers were having a chat during their free time. First Soldier: Why did you join the army? Second Soldier: I didn’t have a wife and I loved war. So I joined. How about you? Why did you join the army? First Soldier: I had a wife and I loved peace. So I joined.

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Bush in Office

December 30, 2004/Washington, D.C.(Associated Press) After four years of legal wrangling, George W. Bush was finally declared the winner of the 2000 Presidential Election yesterday. Bush, a Republican, will take the oath of office at noon today and serves until January 20, 2005, a term of about three weeks. Then he gives way to the undisputed winner of the 2004 Presidential Election, New York Senator Hillary Rodham Greenspan (formerly Clinton). Facing a drastically shortened presidency, Bush attempted to strike an…

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Football Game Date

A college senior took his new girlfriend to a football game. The young couple found seats in the crowded stadium and were watching the action. A substitute was put into the game, and as he was running onto the field to take his position, the boy said to his girlfriend, “Take a good look at that fellow. I expect him to be our best man next year.” His girlfriend snuggled closer to him and said, “That’s the strangest way I…

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The Sick Drunks

One night there were two drunks lying in a ditch, and one had his finger up the other one’s butt. A police officer was driving by and stopped when he saw them. “What are you doing with your finger up his butt?” the policeman asked. The drunk man said, “My friend is sick and I’m trying to make him puke…” The cop said, “You can’t make him puke like that!” The drunk replied, “Like hell I can’t… just wait until…

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