Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Bobby was so excited about his first day at school that only a few minutes after the first-grade class had begun, he realized the he desperately needed to go to the bathroom. So Bobby raised his hand politely to ask if he could be excused. Of course, the teacher, Miss Adams, said yes but told Bobby to hurry back. Five minutes later, Bobby returned, looking more desperate than before. “I can’t find it,” he explained. Miss Adams drew a little…
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COMPUTER VIRUSES Woody Allen Virus Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter card. Tonya Harding Virus Turns your BAT files into lethal weapons. Paul Revere Virus Warns of an impending virus infection: 1 if by LAN, 2 if by C:\. Hillary Rodham Clinton Virus Instantly turns 1 K of disk space into 1 Meg. Ollie North Virus Plays a patriotic WAV while it shreds your files. Joey Buttafuoco Virus Only attacks minor files. Lorena Bobbit Virus Your hard disc…
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A programmer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.” He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week.” The programmer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and…
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Unbelievable, but these are from a book called “Disorder in the Court.” These are things people actually said in court, word for word: Q: What is your date of birth? A: July fifteenth. Q: What year? A: Every year. ————————————————— Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ————————————————— Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? A: Yes. Q: And in what ways does it affect your…
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A research scientist was assigned to do a test to determine the influences of body shapes in distance jumping. So, the scientist decided to use a frog for this research. He positioned the frog on a surface that was marked off in feet and inches. He said :”Jump frog jump” and the frog jumped 7 ft. The scientist recorded this observation: Conclusion: Frog with 4 legs , jumps 7 feet. Then he cut off 1 leg and said “Jump, frog…
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10. Child can now open your blouse by himself. 9. The kid starts burping up silicone. 8. Child has developed a bad habit of flicking his tongue. 7. The little one keeps slipping dollar bills in your belt. 6. Child demands that you express for his cafe latte. 5. Your birth control pills interfere with his acne medicine. 4. After each session, you both have a smoke. 3. Child invites his friends over for dinner. 2. You feel an uncontrollable…
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A corporate executive received a monthly bill from the law firm that was handling a big case for his company. It included hourly billing for conferences, research, phone calls, and everything but lunch hours. Unhappy as he was, the executive knew that the company would have to pay for each of these services. Then he noticed one item buried in the middle of the list: FOR CROSSING THE STREET TO TALK TO YOU, THEN DISCOVERING IT WASN’T YOU AT ALL…
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Johnny was in class and the teacher asked, “What’s 2+2?” Johnny raised his hand and said, “That would be motherfuckin’ 4.” The teacher said, “Johnny you can’t use that kind of language in class!” and Johnny said, “Why motherfuckin’ not?” The teacher call Johnny’s parents that evening and asked them to come to school to discuss this matter. The next day Johnny’s parents came to school and the teacher told them about Johnny’s behavior and that everytime she calls on…
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It was their fifth anniversary, and Al and Alice had just returned from the movies. Alice was feeling romantic. “Will you love me when my hair has turned to silver?” she crooned. “Why not?” Al grunted. “Didn’t I love you through four other shades?”
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Colorful descriptions for the intellectually challenged: A few fries short of a happy meal. The wheel is spinning but the hamster is dead. Couldn’t pour water out of a boot with the instructions on the heel. Fell out of the stupid tree and hit all of the branches on the way down. A few clowns short of a circus. A few beers short of a six-pack. A few peas short of a pod. Doesn’t have all his corn flakes in…
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