Co ed Jokes - page 219

Top 20 things you will NEVER hear a woman say

1. We both work and you got the check last time. Let me get it. 2. I don’t need another pair of shoes. I have a closet full of them I don’t wear now. 3. Maybe this isn’t the right time time talk about this. Let’s talk later. 4. We always talk about how I feel. How do you feel? If you don’t know, that’s OK. 5. You’re right, I’m wrong. I’m sorry. 6. I’m sorry I made such a…

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A Single Woman

Q: What is the difference between a single woman and a married woman? A: A single woman comes home, sees what is in the refrigerator and goes to bed. A married woman comes home sees what is in the bed and goes to the refrigerator.

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Tragic Accident at the Brewery

Brenda McCarthy is home making dinner for her husband Patrick when Tim Finnegan knocks at her door. “May I come in, Brenda darlin’?” says Tim sadly, “I’ve somethin to tell ya.” “Of course, Tim, come in, but where’s Patrick?” she asks. “That’s what I’m here to be tellin ya, Brenda,” says Tim. “There was an accident down at the Guinness Brewery.” “Oh, God NO!” cries Brenda. “Please don’t tell me…..” “I’m so sorry, darlin’” says Tim, his voice breaking, “Your…

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Read JokeTragic Accident at the Brewery

spud

Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman are all going for a job as a code breaker for Scotland yard. Their first test is to pick the odd one out from 3 objects. A carrot, a potato and a knife. The Englishman walks in and the interviewer asks him which is the odd one out. The Englishman replies, “The knife, because the other 2 are vegetables.” He passes the test and is told to send the 2nd man in. The Scotsman enters…

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Dad Crying

A girl and this guy have been going out for a long time when she finally says, “I have got to have you NOW!” He says, “How?” “Well, there’s a tree in my backyard. You can put me in it then fuck me.” He agrees, so they go in the backyard and he puts her in the tree and they do it. He takes her down and she goes inside to her room. Finally his conscience gets to him and…

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Writing Poorly is a Talent

One morning, Yale University Professor of English John Berdan read to his English composition class a particularly inept theme and, as usual, called for comments. The students panned it unmercifully. “Interesting,” commented Berdan, “because I wrote the theme myself.” As the critics began to blush, he continued, “You are quite right. This theme is incredibly bad. I spent two hours of painstaking effort last night to make sure I had not omitted a single feature of poor writing, and I…

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Cajun Fishermen

Poo Poo Boudreaux and Poo Poo Thibodeaux were coming up in an inlet in the motor boat when they saw another boat loaded with fish. Seeing as how their luck had been awful today, Boudreaux asked the fisherman what his secret was. He said, “Jes go out to sea till the water she gets fresh. Den stop der and drop yer line.” Excited, Boudreaux fired up the motor and headed out to sea. When they got a little ways out,…

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Tee time talk

Over a round of golf, two doctors were talking shop. “I operated on Mr. Lee the other day,” said the surgeon. “What for?” asked his colleague. “About $6,000.” “What did he have?” “About $6,000.”

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Helping Him Quit

This coworker was truly concerned about her husband’s smoking habit. She had finally gotten him to agree to limit his smoking at home to only those times when they had finished making love. She said she had gotten the idea from a classic movie they had watched on TV called “Cold Turkey.” After about a week, I asked her how it was going. “Well, not too bad,” she said, getting up off the pillow she had in her chair and…

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Read JokeHelping Him Quit