Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A young man goes into a store and asks the clerk for a nice Polish sausage. The clerk looks at him and asks, “Are you Polish?”. The young man says “Yes I am, but if I’d asked for an Italian sausage, would you have asked if I was Italian, or if I’d asked for a German sausage, would you have asked if I was German, or if I’d asked for tacos, would you have asked if I was Mexican?” The…
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Notice Of Increase In Tax Payments To All Male Taxpayers Gentlemen: The only thing the government has not yet taxed is your “PECKER.” Mainly because 98% of the time your pecker is out of work and the 2% it is in the hole. Moreover, it has two dependents who are both nuts. Accordingly, beginning on April 1 of this year, your pecker will be taxed according to its size. Use the Pecker-Checker scale listed below to determine your tax. Please…
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Comedian Jack Benny was very proud of the fact that a school in his home town of Waukegan, Illinois was named after him. He made a point of visiting it and speaking to the children whenever he was in the neighborhood. Some years after the school was opened, Benny found himself addressing a class of twelve-year-olds. His speech over, he asked if there were any questions. One little boy immediately put up his hand. “Mr. Benny,” he asked, “why did…
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One day this guy with a stuttering problem walked up to the foreman and said, “I wwwouldd lllike a jjob pppllleaase.” The foreman said, “I would really like to son, but with that stuttering problem you have, I can’t. We have a lot of bricks that fall around here and by the time you got the words out, someone would get hurt.” The stutterer said, “Bbbbutt I rrreally nnneed a jjobb.” The foreman said, “Look, if you go home and…
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A financial magnate was on his death bed. He was under an Oxygen tent. At his side stood his loyal subordinate, tears streaming down his face. “Do not grieve,” whispered the expiring tycoon, with considerable effort. “I want you to know that I appreciate your faithful services to me over the years. I am leaving you my money, my plane, my estates, my yacht… everything I have.” “Thank you sir” cried the subordinate. “You have always been so good to…
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A six year old comes crying to his Mother because his little sister pulled his hair. “Don’t be angry,” the Mother says, “Your little sister doesn’t realize that pulling hair hurts.” A short while later, there’s more crying, and the Mother goes to investigate. This time the sister is bawling and her brother says…”Now she knows.”
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Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life. Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. I intend to live forever – so far, so good. Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire. If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that…
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The sky was dark, The moon was high, All alone, just her and I. Her hair so soft, Her eyes so blue, I knew just what she wanted to do. Her skin so soft, Her legs so fine, I ran my fingers down her spine. I didn’t know how, But I tried my best, I placed my hands on her soft sweet breast. I remember my fear, My fast beating heart, But slowly she spread her legs apart. And when…
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A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, “Get me a beer before it starts.” The wife sighs and gets him a beer. Fifteen minutes later, he says, “Get me another beer before it starts.” She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him. He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, “Quick, get me another beer,…
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girl: I’d like a triple vanilla ice-cream sundae with chocolate syrup, nuts, and lots of whipped cream. waiter: is that with a cherry on top? girl: heavens no! I’m on a diet. An accountant got out of bed and complained that he had not slept a wink . “why didn’t you count sheep?” his wife asked “I did, that is what got me into trouble,” the accountant replied ” I made a mistake during the first hour, and it took…
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