Cho Jokes - page 29

Then: Killer Weed Now: Weed Killer Then: Being caught w/Hustler magazine Now: Being caught BY Hustler magazine Then: The Grateful Dead Now: Dr. Kevorkian Then: Getting out to a new, hip joint Now: Getting a new hip joint Then: Moving to California because it’s cool Now: Moving to California because it’s warm Then: Peace Sign Now: Mercedes Logo Then: OJ, cutting & slashing Now: OJ, cutting & slashing Then: Long hair Now: Longing for hair Then: Acid rock Now: Acid…

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A young lady empties her shopping cart on the checkout counter. She has bought: 1 toothbrush 1 lambchop 1 potato 1 carrot 1 pint of milk 1 apple As the checkout guy is scanning her purchases, he glances up at her and says “Single, huh?” “Oh, you’re so fucking clever,” she snaps, “How’d you ever guess?” “Because you’re ugly.”

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A guy was driving his car down an old country road, when he ran right into a big mud hole and got his car stuck. Just so happens a farmer comes along on his tractor and says,” Hey stranger, I’ll pull you out for $20.00.” Well the guy had no choice, so he motioned to the farmer to go ahead. After the farmer had pulled the car out and had it on dry ground again, the guy says, “For as…

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WHEN SOMEONE SAYS: “You don’t know Jack Schitt” Now you’ll know the entire story! Jack Schitt is the only son of O. Schitt and Awe Schitt. O.Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married Awe Schitt, who later ran the Kneedeep Inn-Schitt. Jack Schitt eventually married Noe Schitt, and together they produced six children. Holy Schitt, their first child, passed on shortly after birth. Next came twin sons: Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt, and the two daughters: Fulla Schitt and Givva Schitt. Their…

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Three cowboys sat around a western campfire, each with that macho bravado we’ve come to expect from the American West and the American Cowboy. The first cowboy pipes up, “You know, a bull got loose in the corral today . . . gored six men to death before I wrestled him to the ground and slit his throat with my fingernail.” The second cowboy, not wanting to be bested, said. “Oh yeah, well just last week a rattler, six feet…

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One day, two boys were walking home from school when suddenly they saw a hot girl walking down the same side of the street, but unfortunately, a buff man was walking next to her. “Wow, look at her! She’s hot!” one whispers to the other. Eventually the two boys pass the girl and guy, and one they turn around to stare. “Wow, look at that ass!” says one. “Yea, he must work out…”

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Every year two rival schools try to see who can pull off the best prank to the opposing school. So this guy and this go to the rival school and steal their mascot, “Sammy the Skunk” As they’re about to leave with the skunk, a security guard comes. So he tells her to stick the skunk up her dress. She says, “well, what about the smell?” “If it dies, it dies!” he replies.

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An Arab diplomat visiting the US for the first time was being wined and dined by the State Department. The Grand Emir was not accustomed to the salt in American foods (French fries, cheeses, salami, anchovies, soy sauce, etc.) and was constantly sending his man servant, Abdul, to fetch him a glass of water. Time and again, Abdul would scamper off and return with a glass of water, but then came the time when he returned empty-handed. “Abdul, you son…

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