Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable, because no matter how legitimate my illness, I always sense my boss thinks I’m lying. On one occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, because the truth was too humiliating to reveal. I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head injury and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the next day. By then, I could think up a doozy to explain the bandage on my crown.…
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A certain lawyer was quite wealthy and had a summer house in the country, to which he retreated for several weeks of the year. Each summer, the lawyer would invite a different friend of his (no,that’s not the punch line) to spend a week or two up at this place, which happened to be in a backwoods section of Maine. On one particular occasion, he invited a Czechoslovakian friend to stay with him. The friend, eager to get a freebie…
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Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary DAY 752 – My captors continue to torment me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to subsist on dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of eventual escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from occasionally ruining some piece of their furniture. I fear I may be going insane. Yesterday, I ate a houseplant. Tomorrow I may eat another. DAY 761…
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One day there was a boy and he asked his mom, Mom how old are you? His mom said that is a question you don’t ask a laddy. When the ate dinner the boy asked , Mom how much do you weigh. The Mom said that is a question you don’t ask a laddy. When the Mom tucked the boy in he asked, her Mom why did you and dad get a divorce? Mom said because, just because. The next…
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She was sooooooooooooooo blonde, She sent me a fax with a stamp on it. She thought a quarterback was a refund. She tried to put M&M’s in alphabetical order. She thought Boyz II Men was a day care center. She thought Eartha Kitt was a set of garden tools. She thought General Motors was in the army. She thought “Meow Mix” was a CD for cats. She thought TuPac Shakur was a Jewish holiday. Under “education” on her job application,…
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A Jewish man was rather upset because he thought that he had brought his son up right, taught him the faith, and given him a good childhood, but his son grew up and became a Christian. He took this problem to his Rabbi, and told him all about it. His Rabbi said, “Funny you should come to me about this. You see, I thought that I had brought up my son correctly. I taught him the faith, and sent him…
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As the crowded elevator descended, Mrs. Wilson became increasingly furious with her husband, who was delighted to be pressed up against a gorgeous blonde. As the elevator stopped at the main floor, the blonde suddenly whirled, slapped Mr. Wilson, and said, “That will teach you to pinch me!!!” Bewildered, Mr. Wilson, in shock, was halfway to the parking lot with his wife when he choked, “I…I…didn’t pinch that girl.” “Of course, you didn’t,” said his wife, consolingly. “I did.”
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Some explorers are hiking through a jungle in Africa. They come upon a tribe which frowns on trespassers. “We have two forms of punishment for trespassers,” the tribe leader anounces, “Death… or Bunga.” The first explorer says, “Well I don’t want to die, I choose Bunga, whatever that is.” So then, every man in the tribe whips off their clothes, and has sex with him until he is dead. The next explorer, surprised, says, “Well if I’m going to die…
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This eskimo and his wife are laying in bed when he says” Honey lets go fishing ” And she says” No I don’t want to go fishing. He says ” sure you do” She says “no I don’t want to go fishing I’m not going” and finally he says ” I’ll tell you what I’ll give you 3 choices you can give me a blow job,take it up the ass or go fishing. I’m going to get the dogs ready…
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One day in Sunday school, the teacher asked if anybody knew how to get to Heaven? Dirty Johnny replied, “Feet first”. The teacher asked him how this could be and Dirty Johnny said, “Last week I walked by my parents’ room and my mom’s feet were spread up in the air and she was screaming, “OH GOD, OH GOD, I’M COMING, I’M COMING” and my daddy was on top of her holding her down saying, “NO PLEASE, NOT YET, NOT…
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