Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A couple went on vacation to a fishing resort up north. The husband liked to fish at the crack of dawn; the wife preferred to read. One morning the husband returned after several hours of fishing and decided to take a short nap. The wife decided to take the boat out. She was not familiar with the lake so she rowed out, anchored the boat, and started reading her book. Along comes the sheriff in his boat, pulls up alongside…
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Two young guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court before the judge. The judge said, “You seem like nice young men, and I’d like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and get them to give up drugs forever. I’ll see you back in court Monday.” Monday, the two guys were in…
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You and your teeth don’t sleep together. You try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren’t wearing any. At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop, and you’re not eating cereal. Your back goes out but you stay home. When you wake up looking like your driver’s license picture. It takes two tries to get up from the couch. When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio. When happy hour…
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1. You know all the answers but nobody asks you any questions. 2. You get winded playing checkers. 3. You need a fire permit to light all of the birthday candles and you need oxygen after blowing them out. 4. You order Geritol on the rocks. 5. You sink your teeth into a thick steak and they stay there. 6. You stop to think and sometimes forget to start again. 7. You don’t need an alarm clock to get up…
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An old lady is rocking away the last of her days on her front porch, reflecting on her long life, when-all of a sudden-a fairy godmother appears in front of her and informs her that she will be granted three wishes. “Well, now,” says the old lady, “I guess I would like to be really rich.” POOF Her rocking chair turns to solid gold. “And, gee, I guess I wouldn’t mind being a young, beautiful princess.” POOF She turns into…
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She Was So Blond… …she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said “concentrate”. …she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind. …she got stabbed in a shoot-out. …she told me to meet her at the corner of “WALK” and “DONT WALK”. …she thought TuPac Shakur was a Jewish holiday. …she tried to put M&M’s in alphabetical order. …she sent me a fax with a stamp on it. …she tried…
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I like monkeys. The pet store was selling them for five cents apiece. I thought this was odd since they are normally a couple thousand apiece. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth, so I bought 200 of them. I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one of them drive. His name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching themselves in…
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What do you an Amish man with his hand up a horses rear-end? A mechanic.
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Two unemployed guys are talking. One says, “I’m going to become a lion tamer.” The other replies, “That’s crazy, you don’t know nothing about no lion taming.” “Yes I do!” “Well, OK, answer me this. When one of those lions comes at you all roaring and biting, what you gonna do?” “Well, then I take that big chair they all carry, and I stick it in his face until he backs down.” “Well, what if the lion takes that big…
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Three famous explorers, Dr. Smith, Dr. Doe and Dr. Jones, were on an anthropological excursion into the deepest jungle of Borneo when they were captured by a tribe of head-hunting cannibals. When the three captive explorers were brought into the village, the cannibals’ chief told them, “You all trespassers! We no like trespassers. We eat trespassers. But we very fair. You three take test first. If you pass test, you go away alive. But if you fail, you lose head…
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