Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Sister Mary burst into the office of the principal of Our Lady of Perpetual Motion School in an advanced state of agitation. “Father!” she cried, “just WAIT until you hear this!” The priest led the sister to a chair, and said, “Now just calm down and tell me what has you so excited.” “Well, Father,” the nun began, “I was just walking down the hall to the chapel, and I heard some of the older boys wagering money!” “A serious…
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1. Never trust a dog to watch your food. – Patrick, age 10 2. When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?” don’t answer him. – Michael, 14 3. Never tell your mom her diet’s not working. – Michael, 14 4. Stay away from prunes. – Randy, 9 5. Never pee on an electric fence. – Robert, 13 6. Don’t squat with your spurs on. – Noronha, 13 7. Don’t pull dad’s finger when he tells…
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A young lady went to a dance, wearing a low-cut, strapless gown. Around her neck, she wore a little golden airplane on a long chain. All night she noticed a young man, staring at her. In her embarrassment, she held up the airplane and said, “Oh, you like my airplane, huh?” The young man smiled, mischievously, and said, “No ma’am, I was just admiring the landing field.”
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During the American Civil War, a particular captured Confederate soldier was a hard man to handle. Constantly, in his soft drawl, he would say, “Anyway, we beat the hell out of you sniveling Yankee dogs at Fredericksburg.” The Northern sergeant in charge could not punish the impertinent prisoner as he would have liked because there was a drive on at the time to make sure that prisoners were treated humanely. Finally, however, he could stand it no more. He marched…
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During the championship ceremony of The Ryder Cup, Leonard noticed that his wife’s bra had a hole on the far side. He said, “Honey, there’s something amiss with your bra.” Mrs. Leonard replied, “No Honey, That’s my New Ryder Cup Championship Bra. It’s got a hole in one.”
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One fellow walks up to another and says “Say, how are you doing?” The other chap says “Geez, I’m really tired”. The other man says, “Really, how come?” “Well, my girlfriend and I agreed that we won’t go to bed angry at each other”. The other chap says “so?” “…I’ve been up since Tuesday”….”
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Two golfers are waiting their turn on the tee when a naked woman runs across the fairway and into the woods. Two men in white coats and another guy carrying two buckets of sand are chasing her, and a little old man is bringing up the rear. One of the golfers grabs the old man and says, “What the hell is going on?” The old guy says, “She’s a nymphomaniac from an asylum, she keeps trying to escape, and us…
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1. HOTFLASHES You sell your home heating system at a yard sale. 2. NIGHT SWEATS The person you sleep with complains about snow piling up on the bed. 3. MOOD SWINGS Your husband jokes that instead of buying a wood stove, he is using you to heat the family room this winter. Rather than just saying you are not amused, you shoot him. 4. MEMORY LOSS You write post-it notes with your kids’ names on them. 5. IRRITABILITY Your husband…
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Monica: “Did you hear that Hillary changed her name since Bill decided to confess his affairs?” Pauline: “No, What did she change it to?” Monica: Sharon Peters! (sharing peters)
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A couple went on vacation to a fishing resort up north. The husband liked to fish at the crack of dawn; the wife preferred to read. One morning the husband returned after several hours of fishing and decided to take a short nap. The wife decided to take the boat out. She was not familiar with the lake so she rowed out, anchored the boat, and started reading her book. Along comes the sheriff in his boat, pulls up alongside…
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