Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
ARIES You tend to be a headstrong and deliberate in your actions. Basically you don’t give a fuck about anyone. Most people hate you but you couldn’t care less. You’re the type of person who would masturbate at a wedding. TAURUS Warm and caring are your most endearing characteristics. You get on well with most people because you’re bisexual. You hardly ever wear underwear and you constantly smell of piss. GEMINI Your star sign denotes an air of duality in…
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Thou shalt not jump onto the keyboard when thy human is on the modem. Thou shalt not pull the phone cord out of the back of the modem. Thou shalt not unroll all of the toilet paper off the roll. Thou shalt not sit in front of the television or monitor as though thou are transparent. Thou shalt not projectile vomit from the top of the refrigerator. Thou shalt not walk in on a dinner party and commence licking thy…
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Then there was the dumb blonde who was sitting at her desk one Monday morning weeping her eyes out. Her office mate came over and ask what she was crying about. The blonde said that she was sad because her boyfriend was working on his car over the weekend and the jack broke and cut his finger off. The office mate then asked, “The whole finger?” At which the blonde answered, “No, the one next to it!”
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“How to Keep the Wackiness Alive in the Modern Workplace, Part I” ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Put a chair facing a printer, sit there all day and tell people you’re waiting for your document. Arrive at a meeting late, say you’re sorry, but you didn’t have time for lunch, and you’re going to be nibbling during he meeting. During the meeting, eat 5 entire raw potatoes. Insist that your e-mail address be “[email protected]” Every time someone asks you to do something, ask him/her…
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A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, “PULLOVER!” “NO,” the blonde yelled back, “IT’S A SCARF!” ++++++++++ The executive was interviewing a young blonde for a position in his company. He wanted to find out something…
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Although he always ordered just ham and eggs everyday, one customer at the diner always studied the menu carefully each day before ordering. One day his regular waitress decided to see if he could be made to order anything else. Before giving him the menu she marked out the ham and eggs entry. After waiting a few minutes she asked, “Did you notice, sir, that I scratched something that you like?” Without looking up from the menu, he replied, “So…
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If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs? Shouldn’t they be wearing night gowns? If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? When someone says, “A penny for your thoughts,” and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny? Why is the man who invests all your money called a “broker”? Are you “broker” after doing business with him? Why do croutons come in airtight packages?…
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One day little Johnny came home from school and saw that a new house was being built down the block. His mom told him he could go watch if he promised to be very careful and stay out of the way. When he got back, he was very excited and told his mom he learned something new. “Take one end of this piece of string and go to the other end of the room.” After she did this, he tried…
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I know it’s long, but it’s worth reading:o) Occasionally, airline flight attendants make an effort to make the “in-flight safety lecture” a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: “As we prepare for takeoff, please make sure your tray tables and seat backs are fully upright in their most uncomfortable position.” “There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 6 ways out of this airplane…” “Your seat cushions…
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The following statements about the bible were written by children and have not been retouched or corrected (ie bad spelling has been left in.) In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off. Noah’s wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark, which the animals come on to in pears. The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals.…
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