Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Day 1. Just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with not much to celebrate. When it came time to reenact our wedding night, he locked himself in the bathroom and cried. Wussy. Day 2. Today, he says he has a big secret to tell me. He’s impotent, he says, and he wants me to be the first to know. Why doesn’t he tell me something I don’t know! I mean, gimme a break. He’s been dysfunctional for so long that he…
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Men are a misunderstood lot, which all in all is probably for the best. Women are better off not knowing that we eat with our hands the minute they leave the room or that we use their nail clippers to trim our nose hair. Better for them, better for us. Still, it’s annoying that women spend more time and money trying to understand the minds of cats than they do, wondering about what makes men tick. Which is why they’ll…
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1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations. 2. Ride those electronic cars at the front of the store. 3. Set all the alarm clock to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day. 4. Start playing football; see how many people you can get to join in. 5. Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him, “I need some…
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A fellow was reading the paper one day lamenting the fact that his doctor has ordered him to lose 75 pounds. Next thing he sees is an advertisement for a guaranteed weight loss program. “Guaranteed like heck,” he thinks to himself, “But let’s see what they think they can do.” He calls them on the phone and subscribes to the 3 day, 10 LB weight loss program. The next day there comes a knock at his door, and when he…
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One day a teacher asked her class to think of a sentence that had either the word Jew or Jewish in it. One little girl raised her hand and after being called upon replied “Hannukah is a Jewish holiday.” The teacher was pleased with the response and said, “Yes, that’s very good.” A little boy in the corner raised his hand and announced “Jesus was a Jew.” The teacher was pleased with the response and said, “Yes, that’s very good.”…
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Blondes, having endured years of abuse, have finally responded. Here’s what they have to say about redheads and brunettes! ********* REDHEADS ********* How do you get a redhead to argue with you? Say something How do you get a redhead’s mood to change? Wait 10 seconds If you love a Redhead, set her free … if she follows you everywhere you go, she pitches a tent in your front lawn and puts your new girlfriend in the hospital, she’s yours.…
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HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? “You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.” Alan, age 10 “No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.” Kirsten, age 10 WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE…
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The following letters are taken from an actual incident between a London hotel and one of its guests. The Hotel ended up submitting the letters to the London Sunday Times! ——————- Dear Maid, Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in the shower soap dish. They are…
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Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself, she’ll never go through with the marriage with me carrying on like this, so he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Shortly after that they…
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Desperately seeking technical support: I’m currently running the latest version of Girlfriend 5.0 and having some problems. I’ve been running the same version of DrinkingBuddies 1.0 for years as my primary application, and all the Girlfriend releases have always conflicted with it. I hear that DrinkingBuddies won’t crash if you minimize Girlfriend with the sound off, but since I can’t find the switch to turn it off, I just run them separately and it works OK. Girlfriend also seems to…
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