Call girl Jokes - page 2

Close Cut

A really good-looking girl was giving a man a manicure in the barber shop. “How about a date when you finish work?” he asked. “I can’t” she replied, “I am married.” “So call up you husband and tell him you’re going to visit a sick girlfriend,” said the man. “Why don’t you tell him yourself?” said the girl, “he’s the one shaving you.”

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Sherlock Holmes

One evening, Dr. Watson paid an unexpected call on Holmes. “Is he expecting you?” asked the housekeeper. “No,” said Watson, “but I just need to speak with him for a minute.” “I don’t know what he’s up to,” said the housekeeper, “but he left very strict instructions not to be disturbed until nine o’clock”. “I’ll wait downstairs in the library,” replied Watson. A few minutes later, Watson heard the unmistakable sound of girlish laughter coming from the detective’s bedroom, followed…

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Copy Cat

A teacher was grading a test from the day before, and she realized a girl had copied off her partner’s paper. So she called the girl over and said, “Sue, why did you copy off Helen’s paper?” Sue answered, “Why do you say that?” The teacher answered, “Well, on the firt question Helen answered ‘no,’ and you did, too.” Sue said, “So what? That doesn’t prove anything.” “Well, on the second answer, Helen answered ‘yes,’ and you did, too.” Sue…

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Boredom plus Wrong Number is Fun

It was last Wednesday night, and I was sitting in my room watching television when the phone rang. “Hello?” I said. A girl’s voice came over the line. “Can I speak to Ben, please?” I live by myself, and my name definitely is not Ben. It was probably a wrong number and I was bored. I replied, “I’m sorry, he’s not in right now. Can I take a message?” “Do you know what time he’ll be back?” she responded. “I…

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Carburetor Maintenance

A young woman was bored with driving her BMW. It lacked individuality and besides that, every other girl in the office had one. She fancied something a bit more individual, perhaps an MG convertible. That week she visited her local car dealer and spied a beautiful Jaguar XK140 convertible. It was wonderfully restored and she fell in love with its gorgeous red paint work. An empty check stub later, she was tearing down the leafy country lanes enjoying her beautiful…

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List O’ Sick Jokes

Q. Whats the definition of disgusting? A. Stuffing a dozen oysters into your granny’s pussy and sucking out thirteen. Q. What’s the hardest thing about eating a vegetable? A. Getting her out of the wheelchair! Q. What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? A. Slow down and use a lubricant. Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again! Q. Why do men pay…

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Little Red Mouse

One day a boy came home from school with a problem. His dick was too big. He said to his mother, “Mom, my dick’s too big, what should I do?” She replied, “Ask your father about that.” So, the boy entered the living room and said to his father, “Dad, my dick’s too big, what should I do?” He answered, “Paint it red and call it your Little Red Mouse.” The boy did as he was told and went to…

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Three Weddings

Weddings: A Jewish father, Moishe, was beset by his eldest son Yitzak… “Father, I am going to marry!” His father begins to dance with joy and sing Hava Naghila… “Tell me, is she a good Jewish girl?” says the father.. “What is her name?” “O’Brien,” replies the son. “She’s Catholic…” “Oy!” says the father. “But are you happy?” “I’m happy,” says the son. “Ok…as long as you’re happy….my blessings to you both,” replies Moishe. But the father is still counting…

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The World is Populated by Idiots

1. Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $16 bills. 2. A man in Johannesburg, South Africa, shot his 49-year-old friend in the face, seriously wounding him, while the two practiced shooting beer cans off each other’s head. 3. A company trying to continue its five-year perfect safety record showed its workers a film aimed at encouraging the use of safety goggles on the job. According to Industrial…

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Advice for Employers Regarding Women Employees

The following is an excerpt from the July 1943 issue of Transportation Magazine. This was serious and written for male supervisors of women in the work force during World War II – a mere 54 years ago! Obviously, the intent was not to be “funny,” but by today’s standards, this is hilarious! For those of you with efficiency issues, pay attention to #8. ———————————— Eleven Tips on Getting More Efficiency Out of Women Employees: There’s no longer any question whether…

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