Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A man has to leave the country on business and he entrusts with his best friend the job of keeping an eye on his wife. If anything out of the ordinary should occur, he is to be notified immediately. After about a week of no news the business man receives a telegram: “The man who comes to visit your wife every night didn’t show up, yesterday…”
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A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round trip ticket. If he could just get to the airport he could get himself home. So he went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting. He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie. He promised to send the driver money…
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Mr. Greenberg was an illiterate immigrant, but he worked hard, saved his pennies, and started a small business. It did well, and soon he had enough money to send for the wife and children. The work kept him very busy, so he never had time to learn to write, but the bank was happy to do business with him, even though his signature consisted of two X’s. He prospered, he opened more stores, the kids were transferred to private schools,…
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When my printer’s type began to grow faint, I called a local repair shop, where a friendly man informed me that the printer probably only needed to be cleaned. Since the store charged $50 for such cleanings, he told me I might be better off reading the printer’s manual and trying to do the job myself. Pleasantly surprised by his candor, I asked, “Does your boss know that you discourage business this way?” “Actually, it’s my boss’ idea,” the employee…
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The story is told of a lady who was rather old fashioned, always quite delicate and elegant, especially in her language. She and her husband were planning a weeks vacation to Florida, so she wrote to a particular campground asking for a reservation. She wanted to make sure the campground was fully equipped, but didn’t quite know how to ask about the toilet facilities. She just couldn’t bring herself to write the word “toilet” in her letter. After much deliberation,…
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Feeling a bit paranoid, a rich businessman decided to test the fidelity of his wife and his mistress by putting them both on the same cruise ship vacation in the Caribbean. He booked two adjacent rooms for the two women and then begged off from accompanying them because of business concerns. Once the cruise trip ended, he would question his wife and his mistress separately on each other’s behavior during the cruise without letting on about their relationship with him.…
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Veteran Pillsbury spokesmodel “Pop n’ Fresh” died last week at age 71 due to a severe yeast infection. Dozens of celebrities turned out including Mrs. Butterworth, the California raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, and the Hostess Twinkies. The gravesite was piled high with flours as longtime friend Aunt Jemima gave the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who “never knew how much he was kneaded.” Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with many turnovers.…
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Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated. Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite. The national anthem of Greece has 158 verses. No one in Greece has memorized all 158 verses. There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar. The average secretary’s left hand does 56% of the typing. A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes. There are more chickens than people in the world. Two-thirds of the world’s eggplant is grown in…
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Johnny paints a sign: WE MOVE ANYTHING FOR A DIME; then tells his buddy Roy to get his red wagon and both sit under a shade tree in Johnny’s front yard, waiting for business. Kathy, across the street, is not to be outdone: WE MOVE ANYTHING FOR A NICKEL; tells Nellie to get her red wagon and both sit in Kathy’s yard. Johnny’s pissed…how dare that GIRL? Then, a flash…and Johnny hauls Roy across the street & says, “Let’s get…
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Hiss & POPA guy is going on a tour of a factory that produces various latex products. At the first stop, he is shown the machine that manufactures baby-bottle nipples. The machine makes a loud “hiss-pop” noise. “The hiss is the rubber being injected into the mold,” explains the guide. “The popping sound is the needle poking a hole in the end of thenipple.” Later, the tour reaches the part of the factory where condoms are manufactured. The machine makes…
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