Bu Jokes - page 171

Composer Richard Rodgers’ collaborators, Larry Hart and later Oscar Hammerstein II were first-rate lyric writers. He was often asked how they differed. It should be mentioned that Hart was a very short man, about five feet three inches; Rodgers himself was a few inches taller, and Hammerstein was over six feet tall. Said Rodgers, “When I worked with Larry and people recognized us walking together, they’d say, ‘The little fellow is okay, but watch out for the big son-of-a-bitch.’ Now,…

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Stuttering John was, once again, rathered embarrassed at the toothbrush company’s monthly sales meeting. “How many tooth brushes did you sell this month?” asked his sales manager. “I ssssold fffour tttooothbrushes llast month, bboss,” stammered John. “That doesn’t cut the mustard,” shouted the sales manager, “you need to come up with a gimmick if you want to be a successful salesman!’ “Wwhat’s a gggiimmick?” asked John. “You know,” said the sales manager, “anything that will make the customer buy your…

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This important woman went to Israel. When she got off the plane, she said, “Where’s my dog? Where’s the case?” The EL-AL airline people finally find the case in the baggage room. They open it up, and the dog is dead. They’re all upset; they know the woman will kill them. They go and get the manager, and they tell him the dog is dead and the woman is carrying on, waiting for her dog. “She’s shrieking, she’s complaining; she…

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