what do u say……….
What do you say to a man with two black eyes? Nothing hes already been told twice
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Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Bee bee Jokes - page 88
Meals on Wheels
One day, an elderly cat dies. When he goes up to Heaven and meets God, God says to him “Dear sweet sweet cat, you have been such a faithful to your owner, and he has been so curel to you. Is there anything that I can give to you?” And the cat replies, “All my life, I had to sleep on some old cold rags. Could you give me a nice warm blanket?” God gives him a blanket and the…
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THE FIVE PIGS
There were these five pigs. The first two went into a bar. The bartender asked, “What will you have?” They said five beers. They drank them, and asked, “Where is your bathroom?” The bartender said down the hall. Then the next two pigs came in the bar. “What will you have?” said the bartender. “What did our two brothers have?” The bartender said five beers. “We’ll have ten beers.” They drank them. They asked, “Where is your bathroom?” “Down the…
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Dear Abby
Dear Abby, I’ve been going out with this girl for a couple of weeks now, I really like her and want to take the relationship to the next level. I have one problem though. On our first date she told me she was sick, but I can’t remember if she said she had TB or VD. What should I do? – Lovelorn, Portland, OR Dear Lovelorn: If she coughs, fuck her.
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Irish Joke
Have you heard about the Kerry library that was burned down? Both books where destroyed, and worse still, one hadn’t even been coloured in yet.
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Short-Term Memory Loss
An elderly widow and widower had been dating for about five years. The man finally decided to ask her to marry him. She immediately said, “Yes.” The next morning when he awoke, he remembered asking her to marry him, but he couldn’t remember what her answer was! “Was she happy? I think so. Wait! No, she looked kinda funny . . . .” After about an hour of trying to remember, to no avail, he got on the telephone and…
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Clinton And The Pope
Former President Bill Clinton and Pope John Paul II both die on the same day, and by some error, the Pope gets sent to hell, while Bill Clinton goes to heaven. Eventually, it’s been learned that there’s been a mistake. So Clinton has to get on the down escalator going from heaven to hell, while the Pope goes on the up escalator from hell to heaven. (Of course it’s an escalator.) Clinton sees the Pope and says, “Your Excellency, how…
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Up Over
1. Aussie hair products are produced in Minnesota. 2. Most Foster’s Beer found in North Americas is brewed in Canada. 3. The Subaru Outback is produced in Lafayette, Indiana. 4. You can find an Outback Steakhouse in at least 10 countries. Australia is not one of them.
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The 10 Worst REAL Country Songs
10. Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life. 9. Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth, ‘Cause I’m Kissing You Goodbye. 8. Her Body Couldn’t Keep You Off My Mind. 7. Her Teeth Was Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure. 6. I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life. 5. How Can A Whiskey That’s 6 Years Old Whup A Man That’s 33? 4. How Can I Miss You If You Won’t Go Away? 3. How Can You Believe…
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Black Sheep
A missionary gets sent into the deepest darkest Africa and goes to live with a tribe therein. He spends years with the people, teaching them to read, write and the good Christian ways of the white man. One thing he particularly stresses is the evils of sexual sin. Thou must not commit adultery or fornication! One day the wife of one of the Tribe’s noblemen gives birth to a white child. The village is shocked and the chief is sent…
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