Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Sadam called President Clinton and said: “Bill, I called you because I had this incredible dream last night. I could see all of American, and it was beautiful, and on top of every building, there was a flag.” Clinton said, “Sadam, what was on the flag?” Sadam said, “Allah is G-d, G-d is Allah.” Clinton said, “You know, Sadam, I’m really glad you called because last night I had a dream, too. I could see all of Bagdad, and it…
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Three girls died and were brought to the gates of heaven. Upon entering the gate, they were halted by St. Peter and his obedient angel. St. Peter asked the girls, “Before entering you must answer this simple question.” “Which is……?”, they replied in unison. “Have you been a good girl?” He asked the first girl. “Oh yes,” she said. “I was a virgin before I got married, and was still a virgin after i got married.” “Very good”, said St.…
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You receive a $300 bill from your tree surgeon and you live in an apartment. The plumber tells you it would be cheaper to install a diving board than to drain the cellar. You bear a striking resemblance to this week’s prime suspect on America’s Most Wanted. The Dialing for Dollars host quizzes you about the only John Wayne film you haven’t seen. Your heart medication has been replaced with sugar pills and a note that says “April fools!” You…
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My agent has been able to get my name permenently displayed up in lights in every single theatre and cinema in the country. He changed my name to “Exit.”
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A guy goes to a girl’s house for the first time, and she shows him into the living room. She excuses herself to go to the kitchen to get them some snacks and drinks. As he’s standing there alone, he notices a cute little vase on the mantle. He picks it up, and as he’s looking at it, she walks back in. He says, “What’s this?” She says, “Oh, my father’s ashes are in there.” He turns beet red in…
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After much careful research it has been discovered that the artist Vincent Van Gogh had many relatives. Among them were: His obnoxious brother………………………….Please Gogh His dizzy aunt ……………………………….Verti Gogh The brother who ate prunes……………………..Gotta Gogh The brother who worked at a convenience store…….Stopn Gogh The grandfather from Yugoslavia…………………U Gogh The brother who bleached his clothes white……….Hue Gogh The cousin from Illinois……………………….Chica Gogh His magician uncle…………………………….Wherediddy Gogh His Mexican cousin…………………………….Amee Gogh The Mexican cousin’s American half brother……….Grin Gogh The nephew who…
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1. If you pay dues on a tatoo. 2. If you’ve been on the news five times explaining what the tornado did. 3. If people often come to your door thinking you were having a yardsale. 4. If you mow your yard and find a car. 5. If you hear the term “modem” and think of what you did to your roses last week. 6. If you see a sign that says “Say no to crack” and it reminds you…
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(This is a true story from the newspaper The Cape Times, South Africa) “For several months, our nurses have been baffled to find a patient dead in the same bed every Friday morning,” a spokeswoman for the Pelonomi Hospital (Free State, South Africa) told reporters. “There was no apparent cause for any of the deaths, and extensive checks on the air condidtioning system, and search for possible bacterial infection, failed to reveal any clues. However, further inquiries have now revealed…
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“Winterize your lawn,” the big sign outside the garden store commanded. I’ve fed it, watered it, mowed it, raked it and watched a lot of it die anyway. Now I’m supposed to winterize it? I hope it’s too late. Grass lawns have to be the stupidest thing we’ve come up with, outside of thong swimsuits! We constantly battle dandelions, Queen Anne’s lace, thistle, violets, chicory and clover that thrive naturally, so we can grow grass that must be nursed through…
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A blonde dials 911 to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher. “They’ve stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, and even the accelerator!” she cries. The 911 dispatcher says, “Stay calm. An officer is on the way. He will be there in two minutes.” Before the police get to the crime scene, however, the 911 dispatcher’s telephone rings a second time, and the same blonde…
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