Bat and ball Jokes - page 4

Wedding night troubles

Concerned about her relationship, a woman approaches her doctor and says, “Doc, I’m getting married this weekend and my fiancee thinks I’m a virgin. Is there anything you can do to help me?” The doctor says, “Medically, no, but here’s something you can try. On the wedding night, when you’re getting ready for bed, take an elastic band and slide it to your upper thigh. When your husband puts it in, snap the elastic band and tell him it’s your…

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Shower Power

How To Shower Like A Woman: 1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. 2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your boyfriend/husband along the way, cover up any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom. 3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and stick out your gut so you can complain and whine even more about how you’re getting fat. 4. Get in the shower.…

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Scottish Immigrant

A recent Scottish immigrant attends his first baseball game in his new country and after a base hit he hears the fans yelling ?run… run!? The next batter connects heavily with the ball. The Scotsman stands up and roars with the crowd in his thick accent, ?R-r-run ya bahstard, r-run will ya!? A third batter slams a hit and again the Scotsman, obviously pleased with his knowledge of the game, screams ?R-r-run ya bahstard, r-r-run will ya!? The next batter…

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Golfers

A young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured if he hurried and played very fast, he could get in 9 holes before he had to head home. Just as he was about to tee off an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee and asked if he could accompany the young man as he was golfing alone. Not being able to say no, he allowed the old gent…

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In Your Dreams, Buddy

THE PERFECT WOMAN 1. I wanna swallow it all…I love the taste. 2. Are you sure you’ve had enough to drink? 3. I’m bored. Wanna shave my pussy? 4. Shouldn’t you be down at the bar with your buddies? 5. That was a great fart. Do another. 6. I’ve decided to stop wearing clothes around the house. 7. You’re soooo sexy when you’re hungover. 8. I’d rather watch football and drink beer with you than go shopping. 9. Let’s subscribe…

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More Only In America

A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won’t cross the street to vote in a national election. We yell for the Government to balance the budget, then take the last dime we have to make the down payment on a car that will take 5 years to pay off. We demand speed laws that will stop fast driving, then won’t buy a car if it can’t go over 100 miles an hour. We know…

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mop bucket

There was this guy who walked into a bar and he told the bartender,”bartender give me a couple of beers” so the bartender gave him a couple of beers,after the guy drank the beers he went to the bathroom and started to scream he then came back and asked for a few more beers and like before he went to the bathroom and started to scream and when he came back the bartender asked,”why do you keep screaming when you…

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Eye Problems

Jim and Ted play golf together every Monday. Jim always wins because Ted is a terrible putter. One Monday, Ted can’t miss. He sinks every shot on the green. Jim can’t believe his eyes! After the round, Jim asks, “What has happened? You can’t miss today.” Ted says, “Order up the beer, I have to go to the bathroom”. When Ted comes back the front of his pants are all wet. Confused, Jim asks “What happened to your pants?” “I’ll…

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Another poopie list

Someone I know found this joke for me. It made me laugh so it might work on you! Ghost Poopie- The kind where you feel the poopie come out, but there’s no poopie in the toilet. Clean Poopie- The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there’s nothing on the toilet paper. Wet Poopie- The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet…

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Yo mamma — THE LIST

YO MAMMA IS SO FAT ?Yo momma so fat her nickname is “DAMN!” ?Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. ?Yo momma so fat we’re in her right now ?Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise ?Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone ?Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors ?Yo mamma so fat you have to roll over twice to get off…

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