Animal walk Jokes - page 4

wacky thoughts

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him – Is he still wrong? If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? Is there another word for synonym? Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice?” When you open a bag of cotton balls,…

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Arkansas Folks

A guy walks into a bar in Arkansas and orders a white wine. Everybody sitting around the bar looks up, expecting to see some pitiful Yankee queer. The bartender looks up and says, “You aint from around here, are ya??? Where ya from, boy?” The guy says, “I’m from Iowa.” The bartender asks, “What the heck you do in Iowa?” The guy responds, “I’m a taxidermist.” The bartender asks, “A taxidermist? Now just what the heck is a taxidermist?” The…

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Politically-Correct Little Red Riding Hood

There once was a young person named Little Red Riding Hood who lived on the edge of a large forest full of endangered owls and rare plants that would probably provide a cure for cancer if only someone took the time to study them. Red Riding Hood lived with a nurture giver whom she sometimes referred to as “mother”, although she didn’t mean to imply by this term that she would have thought less of the person if a close…

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Are You Ready to Have Children?

Mess Test :Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Place a fishstick behind the TV and leave it there all summer. Toy Test: Buy a 55-gallon drum of Lego. (If Lego’s are not available, you may substitute roofing tacks.) Have a friend spread them all over the house and stairways. Put on a blindfold and remove your shoes and socks. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream, as this could wake the child at night.…

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