Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Believe Them…Or Not AUGUSTA, ME – Four people were injured in a string of bizarre accidents. Sherry Moeller was admitted with a head wound caused by flying masonry, Tim Vegas was diagnosed with a mild case of whiplash and contusions on his chest, arms and face, Bryan Corcoran suffered torn gum tissue, and Pamela Klesick’s first two fingers of her right hand had been bitten off. Moeller had just dropped her husband off for his first day of work and,…
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One day, a man walked into a bar with his pet giraffe. He said to the bartender, “Could I have a drink for myself and one for my giraffe, please?” The bartender, not being in the habit of serving alcohol to animals, hesitated at first but eventually gave in to the persistant pleadings of the man. The man quickly downed his drink, as did the giraffe. He asked the bartender again for a round of drinks. The bartender complied, thinking,…
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One day a skunk is walking by a pond, and hears someone crying. He turns around and there’s a duck. He asks”Why are you crying?” The duck replies, “I have no idea what animal I am!” The skunk says, ” I’ll help you figure out what animal you are.” The duck thanks him. So the skunk says, “Well…you look like a duck, you waddle like a duck, and you quack like a duck…sooo you must be a duck!” The duck…
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This guy decides to leave the city and become a farmer, so he sold all his possesions and bought a farm. Upon arriving he thought he would need a few animals, so on foot he takes out walking and comes upon a sign that says chickens for sale, so he goes and talks to the farmer. “Well, son, around here, we call them pullets.” So he says, “Give me one.” He goes on until he sees a sign that says…
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If your goal in life is to do as little as possible, and you get away with that…does that make you successful? If love is blind and marriage is an institution, does that mean that marriage is an institution for the blind? If you can buy more memory for your computer…why can’t people? What does an imperfect stranger look like? The term “free gift” never made sense to me…has anybody ever said to you…”I bought you a gift, now that…
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1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations. 2. Ride those electronic cars at the front of the store. 3. Set all the alarm clock to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day. 4. Start playing football; see how many people you can get to join in. 5. Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him, “I need some…
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A train carrying circus animals de-rails beside a farm. This zebra gets off and goes to the farm. The zebra sees a chicken the zebra says to the chicken, “What do you do here?” The chicken says, “I walk around this cage and lay eggs.” The zebra exclaims, “You are telling me that you walk around and lay eggs while I risk my life in the African desert? You make me sick!” Then the zebra goes up to a bull…
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One day in the great forest a magical frog was walking down to a water hole. This forest was so big that the frog had never seen another animal in all his life. By chance today a bear was chasing after a rabbit to have for dinner. The frog called for the two to stop. The frog said “Because you are the only two animals I have seen, I will grant you both three wishes… Bear, you go first.” The…
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On one BAD day, 1. The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later they were both eaten by a killer whale. 2. A psychology student in New York rented out her spare room to a carpenter in order to nag him constantly and study his…
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A man is tired of having to do everything for himself around his house, so one day he goes down to his local pet shop and asks the owner for a pet that can do chores for him. The pet shop owner offers the man a dog, and the man replies, saying “Dogs are dirty animals, what else do you have?” The owner says “What about a cat?” to which the man replies, “Cats are too lazy” The owner then…
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