Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Mr. Reiss got himself a new secretary. Maggie was young, sweet and polite. She was also quite witty. One day while taking dictation, Maggie noticed his fly was open and, on leaving the room, she said “Oh, Mr Reiss, did you know that your barracks door is open?” He did not understand her remark, but later on he happened to look down and saw that his zipper was open. He decided to have some fun with his new secretary. Calling…
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Two drunks, Hawthorne and Woods, wake up one morning. Woods says, “How the hell are we gonna get drunk today? All I’ve got is forty cents.” Hawthorne says, “Gimme the money, I’ve got an idea.” He goes into a deli, comes out with a hot dog and says, “Come on. Let’s go to the bar.” When they get to the bar, Hawthorne pulls down Woods’ zipper, sticks in the hot dog, and pulls the zipper up tight enough to hold…
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This guy is stranded on a desert island, all alone for ten years. One day, he sees a speck in the horizon. He thinks to himself, “It’s not a ship.” The speck gets a little closer and he thinks, “It’s not a boat.” The speck gets even closer and he thinks, “It’s not a raft.” Then, out of the surf comes this gorgeous blonde woman, wearing a wet suit and scuba gear. She comes up to the guy and she…
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Twenty-four hours in a day, twenty-four beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not! Last words spoken at the Last Supper: “Everyone who wants to be in the picture, get on this side of the table.” Why are there so many Smiths and Johnsons in the phone book? They all have phones. A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but you mean your mother. Shouldn’t there be a shorter word for “monosyllabic?” Did you know that half of…
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How come blondes don’t eat very many bananas? A: Because they can’t find the zipper.
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Why do Scots wear kilts? Because sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.
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The woman in the bar noticed the man’s zipper was unzipped. She told him his garage door was open. So smarty pants said, zipping up, “Did you notice that long red Cadillac in my garage?” And she replied, “No, but I noticed the little Volkswagen with two flat tires.”
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A blonde goes into a world wide message center to send a message to her mother. When the man tells her it will be $300, she exclaims, “I don’t have any money.. but I would do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother!” To that the man asks, “Anything?” And the blonde says, “yes.. Anything!” With that, the man says, “Follow me.” He walks into the next room and tells her, “Come in and close the door”. She does.…
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How do you confuse a blonde boy? You put him in a circular room and tell him to pee in the corner. Why do blondes wear underwear? To keep their ankles warm. Why did eighteen blondes go to the movies? Because the sign said, “Seventeen and under not admitted.” What do you call a blonde holding a dollar over her head All you can eat under a buck A dumb blonde and a smart blonde jump off of a roof.…
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Two guys on a motorcycle were driving down the road. The driver was wearing an old leather jacket that didn’t have any buttons or a zipper. Finally, he pulled over and told his riding buddy, “I can’t ride anymore with the air hitting me in my chest this way.” After thinking for a second, his buddy suggested, “Yo, it’s like this…put the coat on backwards to block the air from hitting you straight on.” So they continued down the road.…
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