Young lad Jokes - page 3

Pulled Over

I heard about a young lady who was speeding, and an officer pulled her to the side of the road. She didn’t have her seat belt on so, as soon as she stopped, she quickly yanked it on before the officer got to her window. After talking to her about speeding, the officer said, “I see you are wearing your seat belt. Do you believe in wearing it at all times?” “Oh yes, I do, Officer,” she purred. “Well,” asked…

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Budweiser Method

These three guys are in a bar, having a few beers, and checking out the babes as they enter the establishment. One walks in, rather attractive, and they “discuss” her “rating, “which, of course, is on a 1 to 10 scale. One says, “I’d give her a 7… she’s really quite pretty.” Another agrees, and so does the third, but the bartender, bringing a new round of drinks to their table, overhears their rating of the young lass, checks her…

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Lost my Wife

A middle-aged man is out on a date with a lovely young lady. At the restaurant where they sat having dinner, the young lady asked him. “Have you ever been married? The man says, “Well, yes I was. But, I lost my wife a long time ago.” “How did she die?” asked the young lady. The man replied, “She was eaten by a huge 200 lb pitbull. It’s her own fault, though. She should’ve known how dangerous it was. Why,…

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Golf Balls

An avid golfer goes to the local golf course to get in a couple hours of practice after work one day. He hits a large bucket of balls on the driving range, but still hasn’t corrected the slice he’s working on. Not having enough money to buy another bucket of balls and being all alone on the practice tee, he walks up the edge of the driving range picking up balls in the weeds and bushes so as not to…

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Oops, The Waiter Did It

One evening, a very attractive young lady was sitting in a fine restaurant patiently awaiting her date. While waiting, she decided to make sure that she looked perfect for him. So the young lady bends down in her chair in order to get a mirror from her purse. Then just as the waiter walks up, she accidentally farts quite loudly. The lady immediately sat up straight, embarrassed and red faced, sure that everyone in the place had heard her. Quickly…

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Elementary, My Dear

A young lady empties her shopping cart on the checkout counter. She has bought: 1 toothbrush 1 lambchop 1 potato 1 carrot 1 pint of milk 1 apple As the checkout guy is scanning her purchases, he glances up at her and says “Single, huh?” “Oh, you’re so fucking clever,” she snaps, “How’d you ever guess?” “Because you’re ugly.”

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Insult To Injury

A young lady and her new born baby was happily sitting in passenger train when suddenly a drunk appeared out of nowhere and looked at the baby and said, “That’s an ugly baby. A very ugly baaby!” Feeling insulted and totally mortified she called the conductor. She told the conductor, “This man has insulted me. I do not want to be here on this train with him. Please stop this train immediately so I can get off!” The conductor said,…

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Down the Drain

Out on the town one night, a young lad successfully chats up an attractive female, and they go back to her place. “You can’t make any noise,” she warns him. “My parents are upstairs, and if they find out, they’ll kill us!” Things start getting heated up on the sofa, but after awhile, alcohol gets the better of the man’s bladder. “I have to go,” he says. “Well, you can’t go upstairs, it’s right next to my parents’ bedroom,” she…

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After the Physical

A 92-year-old man went to the doctor for his physical. A few days later, the doctor saw the man walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm. At his follow-up visit, the doctor talked to the man and said, “You’re really doing great, aren’t you?” The man replied, “Just doing what you said, Doctor: ‘Get a hot mamma and be cheerful’.” The doctor said, “That’s NOT what I said. I said you got a heart murmur.…

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Monks in the train station

A group of novitiates had been in monastery surroundings for a year and a half were allowed a trip to visit an associate brotherhood in the city of Pittsburg. They went to the train station, but upon arrival were nervous by the prospect of approaching the very busty ticket clerk wearing a lowcut blouse. After exchanging uneasy glances, the bravest of the bunch stepped forward and said: “I’d like five tits to Pittsburg.” Realizing what he had said, he blushed…

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