Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Two priests were going to Hawaii on vacation and decided that they would make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy. As soon as the plane landed, they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts and shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc. The next morning, they went to the beach, dressed in their “tourist”garb and were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a “drop dead”…
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One Friday morning, a teacher came up with a novel way to motivate her class. She told them that she would read a quote and the first student to correctly identify who said it would receive the rest of the day off. She started with “This was England’s finest hour.” Little Suzy instantly jumped up and said,” Winston Churchill.” “Congratulations said the teacher you may go home.” The teacher then said, “Ask not what your country can do for you…”…
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Earlier this year, when President Clinton visited various African nations, he had some interesting comments to say just prior to a press conference. At one of his stops, as he came down to the bottom of the steps off of Air Force One, a shapely African woman walked up to greet him. “Hello, young lady, what tribe do you belong to?” the President asks. “Ubange,” she answered, to which the President said, “Youbetcha. Right after the press conference.”
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An elderly gentleman came home one night to find a homeless girl of about eighteen ransacking the place. He grabbed her by the arm and was just about to call the police, when the girl dropped down on her knees and pleaded, “Please don’t call the police, Mister. Oh, please!!! If you don’t, I’ll let you make love to me and do whatever you want with my body!” The old man thought for a moment and decided to give in.…
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One day farmer Jones was in town picking up supplies for his farm. He stopped by the hardware store and picked up a bucket and an anvil, then stopped by the livestock dealer to buy a couple of chickens and a goose. Now he had a problem: how to carry all of his purchases home. The livestock dealer said, “Why don’t you put the anvil in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm…
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Little Johnny got his first job as a busboy in a restaurant. After a lady spills her drink, she requested little Johnny to clean up her mess. Little Johnny was too busy avoiding work so he never got to her. The lady then found Little Johnny flirting with a young lady at the corner of the restaurant. Angrily she went and said, “Listen, busboy, I thought I told you to clean my mess up.” Frustrated, Little Johnny said, “Geez, lady,…
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“It’s happened,” cried the bishop in anguish as he sat playing bridge one evening with some charming people. “What’s happened?” asked the young woman next to him. “A stroke! My left side is paralyzed.” “Are you sure?” asked the young lady. “Yes, yes,” groaned the bishop. “I’ve been pinching my left leg for the past few minutes and feel no sensation whatsoever.” “Relax,” said the young lady. “That was MY leg you were pinching!”
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A young lady went to the doctor for her annual physical. The doctor told her to undress and sit on the examining table. She did as she was told and when the doctor turned around from his desk to examine her he noticed two big scabs on her knees. He said, ” My god what happened to your knees?” She said that they were caused by doing it doggie style. The doctor gave her some ointment and said that until…
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At a Mass at which some young ladies were to take their finals vows to become nuns, the presiding Bishop noticed two Rabbis enter the church just before the service began. They insisted on sitting on the right side of the center aisle. The Bishop wondered why they had come, but he didn’t have time to inquire before the Mass began. When it came time for the announcements, the Bishop’s curiosity got the better of him. He welcomed the two…
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Zsa Zsa Gabor once appeared on a television program in which guest celebrities attempted to solve viewers’ conjugal problems. The first question came from a young lady: “I’m breaking my engagement to a very wealthy man who has already given me a sable coat, diamonds, a stove and a Rolls Royce. What should I do?” “Give back the stove,” advised Zsa Zsa. (It was Zsa Zsa who once claimed to be a good housekeeper. After each divorce, she kept the…
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