Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Three girls all worked in the same office with the same female boss. Each day they noticed the boss left work early. One day, the girls decided that when the boss left, they would leave right behind her. After all, she never called or came back to work, so how would she know they went home early? The brunette was thrilled to be home early. She did a little gardening, spent playtime with her son, and went to bed early.…
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A retired four-star general ran into his former orderly, also retired, in a Manhattan bar and spent the rest of the evening persuading him to come work for him as his valet. “Your duties will be exactly the same as they were in the army,” the general said. “Nothing to it–you’ll catch on again fast.” Next morning, promptly at eight o’clock, the ex-orderly entered the ex-general’s bedroom, pulled open the drapes, gave the general a gentle shake, strode around to…
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A man was called in for an audit by the IRS. So, he asked his accountant for advice on what to wear. “Wear your worst clothing and an old pair of shoes. Let them think you are a pauper,” the accountant replied. Then he asked his lawyer the same question, but got the opposite advice: “Don’t let them intimidate you. Wear your best suit and an expensive tie.” Confused, the man went to his Minister, told him of the conflicting…
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A woman came home just in time to find her husband in bed with another woman. With superhuman strength born of fury, she dragged him down the stairs to the garage and put his tally-whacker in a vise. She secured it tightly, then removed the handle from the vise. Next, she approached him with a hacksaw. The husband, terrified, screamed, “STOP! STOP! You’re not going to… to… cut it off, are you?!!” The wife, with a gleam of revenge in…
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10. Child can now open your blouse by himself. 9. The kid starts burping up silicone. 8. Child has developed a bad habit of flicking his tongue. 7. The little one keeps slipping dollar bills in your belt. 6. Child demands that you express for his cafe latte. 5. Your birth control pills interfere with his acne medicine. 4. After each session, you both have a smoke. 3. Child invites his friends over for dinner. 2. You feel an uncontrollable…
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I spend a lot of time in the “hereafter.” I go somewhere for something and forget what I’m here after.
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The men of Charlie Company had been in the field for two weeks when the Sarge announces, “I’ve got good news and bad news. First, the good news. Today, we’re going to change our underwear.” The troops start cheering wildly! “Now, the bad news,” continues the Sarge…”Smith, you change with Jones. Andrews, you change with Murphy…”
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Sign on an electrician’s truck: “Let us remove your shorts.” Sign in a nonsmoking area: “If we see you smoking, we will assume you are on fire and will take appropriate action.” Sign on a fence: “All salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive.”
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Style and fashion intrude into all walks of our lives. Two fellows, who had been rivals all their lives, followed different career paths. One eventually became an Admiral in the Navy, and the other went into the Catholic Church and became a Bishop. As fate would have it, they happened to meet at the airport. The Bishop spied the Admiral first and said loudly, “OH, SKYCAP, FROM WHAT PIER IS THE FLIGHT TO DALLAS LEAVING?” The Admiral approached, bowed, and…
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An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, “I like both.” “Both?” said the artist. Engineer: “Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress,they will each assume…
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