Time is time Jokes - page 4

Time Is Of Essence

To realize the value of ONE YEAR Ask a student who has failed his exam. To realize the value of ONE MONTH Ask a mother who has given birth to a pre-mature baby. To realize the value of ONE WEEK Ask an editor of a weekly. To realize the value of ONE DAY Ask a daily wage laborer. To realize the value of ONE HOUR Ask the lovers who are waiting to meet. To realize the value of ONE MINUTE…

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Read JokeTime Is Of Essence

Tee time talk

Over a round of golf, two doctors were talking shop. “I operated on Mr. Lee the other day,” said the surgeon. “What for?” asked his colleague. “About $6,000.” “What did he have?” “About $6,000.”

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Reunion Time

Two women met for the first time since graduating from High School. One asked the other, “Have you managed to live a well-planned life?” “Oh yes!” said her friend. “First I married a millionaire, then an actor. My third marriage was to a preacher and now I’m married to an undertaker.” “What do all those marriages have to do with a well-planned life?” “One for the money, Two for the show, Three to get ready, and Four to go.”

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Quality time with the family

There was this family of 3 brothers named Somebody, Nobody, Everybody, and their cousin Crazy. One night the four boys wanted to go out drinking at a bar. They all drank beer and were having fun. Everybody and Crazy had decided that they had all they wanted to drink. On the other hand, Somebody and Nobody still wanted to drink even though they were already drunk. As they continued to drink they started to say bad things to one another…

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Eight Times Married

Two women were attending the funeral of a friend who had been married eight times. One sighed and said, “They’re together at last.” “Which husband are you talking about?” the other asked. “None of her husbands. I mean her legs.”

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Everything is fine in time…

There once was a man named Tom who was going out with a woman named Lorraine. He thought Lorraine was THE one. They had been going out for years and he was thinking of finally proposing. Tom was also the head of a company and one day his personal secretary of many years quit because of family issues. Tom was upset but contacted an agency to find his a suitable replacement. Immediatly they found one, named Clearly, and she was…

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Time Change

Heard over The US Armed Forces Radio Station, Okinawa, in 1959. “HELLLLOOOO Okinawa!!!!!!” For all you civilian employees the time is now 4:30. For you guys in the Army and Air Force that’s 1630 hours. For you guys in the Navy that’s 8 Bells. For you Marines……..the big hand is on the 6 and the little hand is right in between the 4 and 5.

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Me tell time

There was a cowboy riding in a desert, he came across a Indian laying in the desert, naked. He asked the Indian what he was doing. The Indian said, “Me tell time.” The cowboy aked what time it was, the Indian said 4:00. The cowboy said, “You are right.” The cowboy got back on the horse and started riding again. Soon the cowboy came across another Indian doing the same thing. He asked what he was doing. He said, “Me…

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Closing Time

A bartender is closing for the night when there’s a knock at the back door. When he answers, a dirty-looking homeless guy asks him for a toothpick. The bartender is a little surprised, but he gives him a toothpick and the guy walks away. A few minutes later, there’a a second knock at the door. When he answers, there’s another homeless guy outside who asks for a toothpick. The second man gets his toothpick, and off he goes. A few…

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Time, Please

Every morning for years, at about 11:30, the telephone operator in a small Sierra-Nevada town, received a call from a man asking the exact time. One day the operator summed up nerve enough to ask him why this regularity. “I’m foreman of the local sawmill,” he explained. “Every day I have to blow the whistle at noon, so I call you to get the exact time.” The operator giggled, “That’s really funny,” she said. “All this time we’ve been setting…

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Read JokeTime, Please