Screams Jokes

1957 Date

It’s the Spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date. He’s a pretty hip guy with his own car. When he goes to the front door, the girl’s father answers and invites him in. “Carrie’s not ready yet, so why don’t you have a seat?” he says. “That’s cool,” says Bobby. Carrie’s father asks Bobby what they’re planning to do. Bobby replies politely that they will probably just go to the soda shop or a movie. Carrie’s…

(4)Loading...

Read Joke1957 Date

Impatient Patient

So this little, tiny guy walks into his doctor’s office screaming, “Doctor! Doctor! I think I’m shrinking!!!” The doctor says, “I have to deal with this other patient first and then I’ll get to you.” The little guy screams, “But doctor!! I’m SHRINKING!!” Exasperated, the doctor says, “Well I’m sorry, you’ll just have to be a little patient!”

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeImpatient Patient

Make-Believe Ballroom

Cowboy Tex is out on the trail rounding up strays when suddenly his horse rears in terror. Tex draws his six-gun and takes aim at a rattlesnake warming itself in the morning sun. “Hold on, Tex” says the snake, “Don’t shoot. I’m really a genie, and I’ll grant you three wishes if you don’t kill me.” Since Tex and his horse are not within the rattlesnake’s striking range, he decides to take the snake’s offer. “OK,” says Tex. Here’s my…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeMake-Believe Ballroom

Two questions

Two men are talking and the first one says, “You like riddles or quizzes?” The second guy replies, “Sure!” The first man says, “Well, I have a two-question quiz for you. One question is super easy to answer, while the other one is very difficult. If you answer only ONE question correctly, I will pay you $500. Answer BOTH correctly and you will receive $1,000 from me. Does that interest you?” “Yes!” said the other man. “OK,” continues the first,…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeTwo questions

Little Red Riding Hood

Red Riding Hood (RRH) is skipping down the road when she sees the Big Bad Wolf crouched down behind a log. “My what big eyes you have, Mr. Wolf!” says RRH. The wolf jumps up and runs away!!! Further down the road RRH sees the wolf again. This time he is crouched behind a tree stump. “My what big ears you have Mr. Wolf!” says RRH. Again the wolf jumps up and runs away. About another 2 miles down the…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeLittle Red Riding Hood

Lottery

A blonde buys a ticket and wins the lottery. She goes to Austin to claim it and the man verifies her ticket number. The blonde says, “I want my $20 million.” The man replied, “No, mam. It doesn’t work that way. We give you a million today and then you’ll get the rest spread out for the next 19 years.” The blonde said, “Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I won it and I want it.” Again,…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeLottery

Poor Hillary

Hillary Clinton is not feeling well. She goes to her doctor and gets a complete physical, only to discover that she is pregnant. She is furious and can’t believe this has happened, when she is running for the Senate, too!!! She calls the White House and gets Bill on the phone and immediately begins to berate him, screaming, “I just found out I’m 5 weeks PREGNANT, and it is all YOUR fault!!! How could you have let this HAPPEN? With…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokePoor Hillary

Another Hungover Sunday at Church

Tom’s best friend wakes him up on sunday morning after a long night of partying and drags him to church. Despite Tom’s pleas for sleep his friend forces him to sit through the entire sermon. As the priest begins his sermon Tom drifts asleep. The priest asks the church, “Why are we gathered here this morning?” At that very moment Tom’s friend, noticing Tom is asleep, jabs a pencil into Tom’s leg. Tom jumps up and screams “FOR THE LOVE…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeAnother Hungover Sunday at Church

yo mama so nappy

yo mama hair so nappy when she combs it sounds like a pack of fire crackers goin POP! POP! POP! yo mama hair so nappy it look’s a Brillo pad. yo mama hair so nappy when she gets hair cuts the naps just start bobbin’ and weavin’. yo mama hair so nappy when she puts on a hat the hat screams.

(2)Loading...

Read Jokeyo mama so nappy

Humiliation…

A very shy man is with all his college buddies in a bar one day, and he notices a very attractive girl sitting by herself. After gathering enough courage, he finally gets up and asks her if he chould buy her a drink, whereby she screams, “NO, I WILL NOT SLEEP WITH YOU TONIGHT!” The man, after being humiliated goes back to his buddies and sits down. Ten minutes later, the woman comes over to him and apologizes to him…

(2)Loading...

Read JokeHumiliation…