Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
“When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis, too. That’s love.” “When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth.” “Love is when a girl puts on perfume, and a boy puts on shaving cologne, and they go out and smell each other.” “Love is…
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A man visiting his old grandmother in a nursing home says to her, “Do you know who I am?” “No,” she replies, “but ask the nurse — she’ll tell you.”
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A minister decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning. He said, “Today, I am going to say a single word, and you are going to help me preach. Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn comes to your mind.” The pastor shouted out, “Cross.” Immediately, the congregation started singing in unison, “The Old Rugged Cross.” The pastor hollered out, “Grace.” The congregation began to sing, “Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound.” The…
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A 15-year-old high school student was hard at work on the kitchen table trying to write a limerick for the school paper’s contest. His grandmother came in to make tea and asked him what he was writing. “There’s a contest at school for the best limerick. The winner gets published in our school newspaper” replied Jimmy. “Oh”, Granny smiled, “maybe I can help you. When I was your age, I used to be quite good at making up limericks, although…
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There was a virgin that was going out on a date for the first time and she told her grandmother about it. Her grandmother says, “Sit here and let me tell you about those young boys. He is going to try to kiss you; you are going to like that, but don’t let him do that.” She continued, “He is going to try to feel your breasts; you are going to like that, but don’t let him do that. He…
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PERSONAL AD DEFINITIONS (What they REALLY mean) FIRST THE WOMEN 40-ish……………… 48 Adventurer………….. Has had more partners than you ever will Athletic……………. Flat-chested Average looking……… Ugly Beautiful…………… Pathological liar Contagious Smile…….. Bring your penicillin Educated……………. College dropout Emotionally Secure…… Medicated Feminist……………. Fat; ball buster Free spirit…………. Substance user Friendship first…….. Trying to live down reputation as slut Fun………………… Annoying Gentle……………… Comatose Good Listener……….. Borderline Autistic New-Age…………….. All body hair, all the time Old-fashioned……….. Lights out, missionary position only Open-minded…………. Desperate…
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Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we’re kids? If you’re less than ten years old, you’re so excited about aging that you think in fractions. “How old are you?” “I’m four and a half.” You’re never 36 and a half . . . You’re four and a half going on 5. You get into your teens; now they can’t hold you back. You jump to the next number.…
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Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we’re kids? If you’re less than ten years old, you’re so excited about aging that you think in fractions. “How old are you?” “I’m four and a half.” You’re never 36 and a half….you’re four and a half going on 5. You get into your teens; now they can’t hold you back. You jump to the next number. “How old are you?”…
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A girl was a prostitute, but she didn’t want her grandma to know. One day, the police raided a whole group of prostitutes and made them line up. The girl’s grandma came by and saw her granddaughter. Not willing to let her know the truth, the girl told her grandmother that some people were passing out free oranges and she was linning up for some. Grandma wanted oranges too, so she went to the back of the line. A policeman…
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Little Jimmy was struggling with a homework assignment his 4th grade teacher, Mrs. Adams, had given her English class. Jimmy’s grandmother realized that the boy was having difficulty when she saw all the scrunched up papers around the kitchen table where he was working. “Having a problem with your homework, dear?” asked the sweet old lady. “I am, Grandma”, said Jimmy, dropping his pencil dejectedly on the table. “We’re supposed to make up a limerick and read it to the…
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