Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Mommy, Mommy! What happened to all that dog food Fido wouldn’t eat? Shut up and eat your meat loaf. Mommy, Mommy! When are we going to have Aunt Edna for dinner? Shut up, we haven’t even finished your Grandmother yet. Mommy, Mommy! I hate my sisters guts. Shut up and eat what’s put in front of you. Mommy, Mommy! What’s an Oedipus complex? Shut up and kiss me! Mommy, Mommy! What’s for dinner? Shut up and get back in the…
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Our family held a reunion when my mother was 88 years old, with grandchildren and great-grandchildren attending. The talk turned to honeymoons, and my three daughters began to tell about their trips to various popular locations: Las Vegas, Carribean and Niagara Falls. One of my daughters turned to her grandmother and asked, “Gramma, where did YOU go on your honeymoon?” With no hesitation whatsoever, Gramma said, “Upstairs!”
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1 – My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 now and we don’t know where the hell she is. 2 – The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again. 3 – I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven’t lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up. 4 – I have to exercise early in the morning before my…
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A grandmother was surprised by her seven-year-old helper early one morning. He had made her coffee! She drank what was probably the worst cup of coffee in her entire life. And when she got to the bottom, to her utter amazement, there were three little green, army men in her cup. Puzzled, she asked, “Honey, what are these army men doing in my coffee?” Her grandson answered, “Grandma, you know how it says on TV, ‘The best part of waking…
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After summer Little Jonnie started back to school in the third grade. The teacher told the class that it was time to talk grown-up and to stop talking baby talk. She then told the class that she wanted them to tell what they did on summer vacation. The first student got up and said that she went to Nana’s house over the summer. The teacher told her to say grandmother’s and not Nana’s because Nana’s was baby talk and she…
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When three-year-old opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol. He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink. The Mother was not so pleased. She turned to Grandmom and said, “I’m surprised at you. Don’t you remember how WE used to drive you crazy with water guns?” Grandmom smiled and then replied, “I do remember, why do you think I bought it?”
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Jerry had heard a family rumor that his father, grandfather and even his great-grandfather had all “walked on water” on their 21st birthdays. So, on his 21st birthday, he and his good friend, Brian, headed out to the lake. “If THEY could do it, so can I!” Jerry told Brian. Jerry and Brian arrived at the lake and rented a boat. They paddled out to the middle. Jerry stepped off the side of the boat…and almost drowned! Furious, he had…
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A little boy woke up crying and ran to see his mother. “Mummy, Mummy. A voice came to me in my sleep. It said that my grandmother would die today.” The mother comforted him and told him not to worry, it was only a dream. But when he came home from school, he found his mum crying. She said that her mother had died a few hours ago. That night the voice returned. This time it said that the house…
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An old man is lying on his deathbed with all his children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren all around, teary-eyed at the approaching finale of a very long and productive life. The old man in is a terminal coma, and the doctors have confirmed that the waiting will be over within the next twenty-four hours. Suddenly, the old man opens his eyes and croaks: “I must be dreaming of heaven. I smell your grandmother’s strudel.” “No, Grandfather, you are not dreaming. Grandmother…
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My grandson was telling me that he and his three playmates attended different churches. Then he added, “It really doesn’t matter if we go to different churches, does it, Grandma, as long as we’re all Republicans?” A new neighbor asked the little girl next door if she had any brothers and sisters. She replied, “No, I’m the lonely child.” My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, “Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?” I mentally…
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