Oh doctor Jokes

Little Johnny meets new baby

Little Johnny’s next door neighbors had recently had a baby. Due to complications, the baby was born without ears. Little Johnny’s parents decided to go and see the new baby one day. Johnny’s father explained to him about the baby and told Johnny not to make the slightest hint about the baby’s ears. Johnny agreed and said that he would be on his best behavior and say nothing about the baby’s ears. Johnny and his family went to the baby’s…

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Little Johnny and the Eel

Seven-year-old little Johnny, like other boys his age, are rather curious. He had been hearing quite a bit about courting from the other boys, and he wondered just what it was all about. One day he asked his mother, and she became quite flustered. Instead of explaining things to Johnny, she told him to hide behind the curtains later that night and watch his older sister and her boyfriend. So he did this, and the next morning he gave this…

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Doctor Brings Them

Little Johnny asks his mother where children come from, and she says, “The doctor brings them.” Satisfied, Johnny goes out to play with his friend, Willy. As they are playing, two beautiful little girls walk by. Willy asks, “Who are they?” Johnny says, “They’re the doctor’s kids. He must keep the best ones for himself.”

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Doctor’s News

A woman gives birth to a baby, and afterwards, the doctor comes in, and he says, “I have to tell you something about your baby.” The woman sits up in bed and says,”What’s wrong with my baby, Doctor? What’s wrong???” The doctor says, “Well, now, nothing’s wrong, exactly, but your baby is a little bit different. Your baby is a hermaphrodite.” The woman says, “A hermaphrodite…. what’s that???” The doctor says, “Well, it means your baby has the…er..features …of a…

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A Redneck MaMa’s Letter to her Son

Dear Son: Just a few lines to let you know I’m still alive. I will write this letter slowly because I know you can’t read fast. First the big news…your Dad heard that most accidents happen close to home so we moved. You won’t know the house when you come home as I can’t send you the address because the last redneck family that lived here took the house numbers with them so they wouldn’t have to change their address.…

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St. Peter and the HMO Executive

A doctor, a nurse, and the top executive of an HMO have died and are in line together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter speaks with them and asks them what good they have done in their lives. The doctor says, “I have devoted my life to the sick and needy and have had a part in caring for and healing thousands of people. St. Peter replies, “That’s great. Go ahead into heaven. And what about you?” The nurse states,…

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Congratulations

A young couple has been married five years but Debbie has been unable to get pregnant. Then, having missed her menstrual period for a second consecutive month, she visits her doctor who examines her and gives her the good news. “Congratualtions, Debbie,” he smiles, “You’re going to have a baby.” On the bus going home, Debbie is so happy that she is bursting to tell somebody. She glances at the friendly-looking man sitting beside her and says “Excuse me, sir,…

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The Blind Firefighters

A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, “What’s with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!” The doctor chimed in, “I don’t know, but I’ve never seen such ineptitude!” The pastor said, “Hey, here comes the greenskeeper. Let’s have a word with him.” “Hi George. Say, what’s with that group ahead of us? They’re rather slow, aren’t they?” The greenskeeper replied, “Oh, yes,…

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Bathroom Concern

Old Aunt Dora went to her doctor to see what could be done about her constipation problem. “It’s terrible,” she said. “I haven’t moved my bowels in a week.” “I see. Have you done anything about it?” asked the doctor. “Oh, yes,” she replied. “I sit in the bathroom for a half hour in the morning and again at night.” “No,” the doctor said. “I mean do you take anything?” “Of course,” she answered. “I take a magazine in with…

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