Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
How do you confuse a blonde boy? You put him in a circular room and tell him to pee in the corner. Why do blondes wear underwear? To keep their ankles warm. Why did eighteen blondes go to the movies? Because the sign said, “Seventeen and under not admitted.” What do you call a blonde holding a dollar over her head All you can eat under a buck A dumb blonde and a smart blonde jump off of a roof.…
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George had not been feeling well in the last several days and when the pain finally became totally unbearable, he went to his Doctor. After considerable poking and prodding and testing the Doctor says grimly, “George, you’re terminal.” “Oh my God!” exclaims George. “How long do I have?” The Doctor says “Ten.” “Ten WHAT?” George screams. “Ten months, ten years…WHAT?” The Doctor says, “Nine…eight…seven… “
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A man walks into a bar and says, “Bartender, give me two shots. One for me and one for my best buddy.” Bartender says, “You want them both now or do you want me to wait until your buddy arrives to pour his?” The guy says, “Oh, I want them both now. I’ve got my best buddy in my pocket here.” He then pulls a little 3 inch man out of his pocket. The bartender asks, “You mean to say,…
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A man comes home from work and finds his wife admiring her breasts in the mirror. He asks her what she’s doing and she replies, “I went to the doctor today and he told me I have the breasts of a 25 year old.” “Oh yeah?” the husband says, “What did he say about your 50 year old ass?” “Frankly dear, your name didn’t come up in the conversation.”
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There was a doctor doing his daily rounds in the local mental institution. He got to one of the rooms and noticed two patients in there acting strangely. He walks up to Patient#1 and says, “Excuse me, but just what is it that you are doing?” Patient#1 looks up at the doctor and says, “Duh…can’t you see I’m cutting this piece of wood?!” The doctor notices him sawing back and forth on an imaginary piece of wood but says nothing…
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The Cohens were shown into the dentist’s office, where Mr. Cohen made it clear he was in a big hurry. “No fancy stuff, Doctor,” he ordered, “No gas or needles or any of that stuff. Just pull the tooth and get it over with.” “I wish more of my patients were as stoic as you,” said the dentist admiringly. “Now, which tooth is it?” Mr. Cohen turned to his wife Becky. “Show him, honey.”
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There was this man named John who was born with three balls. Doctors checked him over as an infant and determined that this was not an abnormal growth. It was indeed a third testicle. As a grown man, John would go from town to town, hit the bars and bet people he had three balls. There were immediate takers, and when he dropped his pants, they were stunned to see that they had lost the bet, because there before their…
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Rodney walks into a bar and says, “Bartender, give me two shots–one for me and one for my best buddy here.” The bartender says, “You want both drinks now or do you want me to wait until your buddy arrives to pour this?” Rodney says, “Oh, I want them both now. I’ve got my best buddy in my pocket here.” With that, he pulls out a little three-inch man from his pocket. The bartender says, “Wow! And you mean to…
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A woman gets a call from the hospital. The doctor at the hospital says, “Mrs. Smith, it’s about your husband. He’s been in a terrible car accident.” Mrs. Smith says, “Ohmigod, what happened.” The doctor says, “Well, I’ve got good news, and bad news.” Mrs. Smith says, “Give me the good news first.” The doctor says, “Well, your husband suffered extensive injuries and will take years to recuperate. He broke both of his arms, among other things, so for at…
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A rabbi had a terrible car wreck and was rushed to a local Catholic hospital. After the doctors patched him up, he recuperated in the orthopedic ward for several weeks. As he recovered from his injuries, he became friends with a nun who was a nurse there. One day, she came into his room and noticed that the crucifix on the wall was missing. She asked him good-naturedly, “Rabbi, what have you done with the crucifix?” “Oh, Sister,” chuckled the…
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