Nake Jokes - page 2

Wishing Snake

A cowboy was riding the range and as he rounded a bend in the road, his horse balked at a huge rattlesnake in the road. As he drew his colt and was ready to shoot, the snake yelled, “Stop..I am a charmed snake and if you don’t shoot me I’ll grant you three wishes.” Somewhat shaken, he holstered his revolver and said, “OK, let’s see what you can do”. The cowboy said, “I’ve been working really hard all my life,…

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The Bunny and the Snake

Once upon a time, in a nice little forest, there lived an orphaned bunny and an orphaned snake. By surprising coincidence both were blind from birth. One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest, and the snake was slithering through the forest, when the bunny tripped over the snake and fell down. This, of course, knocked the snake about quite a bit. “Oh, my,” said the bunny, “I’m terribly sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’ve been blind…

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Handicap

Two golfers are waiting their turn on the tee when a naked woman runs across the fairway and into the woods. Two men in white coats and another guy carrying two buckets of sand are chasing her, and a little old man is bringing up the rear. One of the golfers grabs the old man and says, “What the hell is going on?” The old guy says, “She’s a nymphomaniac from an asylum, she keeps trying to escape, and us…

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A Very Brave Soldier, Indeed

A Navy Admiral, a Marine General and an Army General were having some drinks at the officer’s club in a major military base. After a few rounds of iced tea, the Navy Admiral boasted, “You know, the Navy has the bravest fighting men ever to serve in the Armed Forces. I can prove it to you all.” Before the others could protest, the Admiral proceeded to phone his headquarter and asked for the best Navy Seal in his command to…

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50th Wedding Anniversary

A couple goes back to their original honeymoon hotel for a celebration of their 50th wedding anniversary. After all the family festivities they retire to the original room they stayed in on their honeymoon night 50 years prior. The woman is done with her bathroom antics and her husband takes her place for his turn to get ready. The elderly man takes quite awhile in the bathroom, as is his norm, and his wife spends the time figuring out the…

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Car crash

A man and his girlfriend are driving down the highway. The man asks “If I drive 100 mph will you take off your clothes?” and she agrees. So the man drives 100 mph and his girlfriend strips. The man is so busy looking at his girlfriend that he crashes into a tree. The car flipped over, trapping the man and all of his girlfriend’s clothes. All that is free of the car is the girlfriend and one of his shoes.…

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more bumper stickers…

a.. Could you drive any better if I shoved that cell phone up your ASS? b.. If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you! c.. Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you’re an asshole d.. 100,000 sperm and YOU were the fastest? e.. Your gene pool needs a little chlorine. f.. You’re just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you! g.. DON’T PISS ME OFF!!!!!! I’m running out of…

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Read Jokemore bumper stickers…

US Marines are Tough

It was 5 o’clock in the morning at the U.S. Marine boot camp, well below freezing, and the soldiers were asleep in their barracks. The drill sergeant walked in and bellowed, “This is a birthday suit inspection! I wanna see you all formed up outside and butt naked now!” The soldiers quickly jumped out of bed, naked and shivering, and ran outside to form up in their three ranks. The sergeant walked out and yelled, “Close up the ranks and…

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