Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Joe and Marion had been married 50 years and were celebrating with a champagne breakfast. Joe looks across the table at Marion with a gleam in his eye and says “Do you remember what we did at our first breakfast after we were married?” Marion smiles and says “Well, I think we didn’t even put our nightclothes back on after our honeymoon night. If I remember right, we had breakfast together stark naked.” “How about we do that right now?”…
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A few months after his parents were divorced, little Johnny passed by his mother’s bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and saying, “I need a man, I need a man.” Over the next couple of months he saw her doing this several times. One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning. When he peeked into her room he saw a naked man on top of her. Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes,…
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Matters had progressed to the point where the freshman and his date were naked in the motel bed when the girl had a change of heart. “I suppose you’re going to tell me now that you’re waiting for ‘Mr. Right’,” he said dejectedly. “That’s a silly old romantic notion,” laughed the coed. “I’m just waiting for Mr. Big.”
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A woman was looking for a room to stay at. She went to the nearest house and knocked on the door. When the owner of the house answered, the woman asked, “Do you have a room I can stay at tonight?” The man said, “Yeah, but you’ve got to sleep with my retarded son.” She said, “No, thanks anyways.” She went to the next house. When the owners answered the door, she asked for a room. They said, “Okay, but…
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Man: “Haven’t we met before?” Woman: “Yes, I’m the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic.” Man: “Haven’t I seen you someplace before?” Woman: “Yes, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.” Man: “So, wanna go back to my place?” Woman: “Well, I don’t know. Will two people fit under a rock?” Man: “Your place or mine?” Woman: “Both. You go to your place and I’ll go to mine.” Man: “I’d really like to get into your pants.” Woman: “No thanks. There’s…
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TODAY’S BUSINESS WRITING TIP: In writing proposals to prospective clients, be sure to clearly state the benefits they will receive: WRONG: “I sincerely believe that it is to your advantage to accept this proposal.” RIGHT: “I have photographs of you naked with a squirrel.”
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She is not: An airhead She is: Reality Impaired She is not: A Bleached Blonde She is: Peroxide Dependent She is not: A babe or chick She is: A Breasted American She does not have: Major league hooters She is: Pectorally Superior She does not have: A Great Tan She is: Pigmentally Enhanced You do not want to: Score or pick her up You want to: Attempt a Horizontal Encounter She is not: A perfect 10 She is: Numerically Superior…
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Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number. Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to “I love you.” Hallmark would make “Sorry, what was your name again?” cards. When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she’d appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out. Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to…
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If Men TRULY ran the world: 1. Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the ass and a “Nice hustle, you’ll get ’em next time” would pretty much do it. 2. Birth control would come in ale or lager. 3. Valentine’s Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years. 4. On Groundhog Day, if you saw your shadow, you’d get the day off to go drinking. Mother’s Day too. 5.…
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There was this old couple getting ready to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. The old man went out shopping to find a really nice present for his wife. When he returned home, he found his wife standing on her head naked. For the life of him, he could not figure out what in the hell she was doing , so he asked,”Honey…what in God’s name are you doing naked ,standing on your head??” “Well dear,” she replied, “it is our…
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