Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A man seeing flashing red and blue lights in his rear view mirror pulls to the side of the road. A minute or so after coming to a stop, a police officer approaches the car. The man says, “What’s the problem officer?” Officer: You were going 75 miles an hour in a 55 mile an hour zone. I’m afraid I’m going to have to ticket you. Man: No sir, I was going a little over 60. Wife: Oh, Harry. You…
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A police officer, though scheduled for all-night duty at the station, was relieved of duty early and arrived home four hours ahead of schedule at 2 a.m. Not wanting to wake his wife, he undressed in the dark, crept into the bedroom and started to climb into bed. She sleepily sat up and said, “Mike, Dearest, would you go down to the all-night drug store on the next block and get me some aspirin? I’ve got a splitting headache.” “Certainly,…
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An Englishman, a German, a Scotsman and an Irishman are in a London pub, trading stories about how dumb their wives are. “My wife,” says the Englishman, “is so dumb that she spent $300 on frozen pork chops because they were on sale, and we don’t even have a freezer.” The German says, “Oh yah? My vife chust bought skis, und ve liff no vhere near a mountain.” The Scotsman says, “Aye, lad, that’s prrrety dumb, but my wife just…
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There are these friends who play golf together every Saturday. One Saturday they were getting ready to tee off when a guy asked them if he could join them. The friends looked at each other and then looked at the man and said, “Sure.” So they teed off. About two holes into the game, the friends got curious about what the man did for a living, so they asked him. The stranger told them that he was a hitman. They…
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1. The last fight we had was my fault. My wife asked, “What’s on the TV?” I said, “Dust!” 2. In the beginning God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then neither God nor man has rested. 3. My wife and I are inseparable. In fact, last week it took four state troopers and a dog. 4. Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two mother-in-laws. 5. Young son: Is it…
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“I’d like to buy some gloves for my wife,” the young man said, eyeing the attractive salesgirl, “but I don’t know her size.” “Will this help?” she asked sweetly, placing her hand in his. “Oh, yes,” he answered. “Her hands are just slightly smaller than yours.” “Will there be anything else?” the salesgirl inquired, as she wrapped the gloves. “Now that you mention it,” he replied, “she also needs a bra and panties.”
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Feeling a bit paranoid, a rich businessman decided to test the fidelity of his wife and his mistress by putting them both on the same cruise ship vacation in the Caribbean. He booked two adjacent rooms for the two women and then begged off from accompanying them because of business concerns. Once the cruise trip ended, he would question his wife and his mistress separately on each other’s behavior during the cruise without letting on about their relationship with him.…
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Fred and Jim are having a quiet beer one night when Fred announces that he’s going to divorce his wife. “Good grief,” says Jim, “You and Sue are the happiest couple I know – why on earth would you want to divorce such a lovely woman after all these years of obvious bliss?” “Well,” replies Fred, “Truth be known I’m just bored with pokin’ the same hole night after night after night. I guess I’m hankerin’ for a bit of…
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This man, his wife, and their EIGHT children, and a blind man, were waiting at the bus stop one day. The bus came, the wife got on, then the eight children one, by one. The two men had to walk because there was no more room on the bus. The family man, and the blind man are walking along and the constant tapping of the blind man’s cane REALLY started to annoy him. So he said to the blind man,…
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A man was relaxing in his back garden, sitting in the shade, sipping a beer and listening to the radio. As he chilled out, his wife struggled with a manual mower, pushing it up and down the large lawn, sweating and red-faced. The man’s next-door neighbor from England saw the woman battling with the mower and shouted across the fence, “You pathetic excuse for a man! You’re just sitting there sipping your beer while your poor wife cuts the grass.…
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