Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
The sky was dark, The moon was high, All alone, just her and I. Her hair so soft, Her eyes so blue, I knew just what she wanted to do. Her skin so soft, Her legs so fine, I ran my fingers down her spine. I didn’t know how, But I tried my best, I placed my hands on her soft sweet breast. I remember my fear, My fast beating heart, But slowly she spread her legs apart. And when…
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Can you imagine the first cow ever made? It would look at itself and say ‘omigod, look at me! I’m huge! I’ve got big, bulging muscles, I’ve got sharp things jabbing out the top of my head. I could kill any other animal in the kingdom. I’m gonna run to the top of this hill and let out a roar that’s gonna make every other animal in the kingdom wet themselves! Mooooooooooo’.
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The newly-married husband came home from the office to find his young wife in floods of tears. “Whatever could have happened?” he thinks, “Who died?” “Darling, whatever is the matter?” he asks. “Sweetheart,” she sobs, “the most terrible thing has happened! I cooked my first Beef Bourguignon for you, and I got it out of the oven to season it, and the phone rang. When I came back from answering it,” she sobbed again, “I found that the cat had…
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One day in Sunday school, the teacher asked if anybody knew how to get to Heaven? Dirty Johnny replied, “Feet first”. The teacher asked him how this could be and Dirty Johnny said, “Last week I walked by my parents’ room and my mom’s feet were spread up in the air and she was screaming, “OH GOD, OH GOD, I’M COMING, I’M COMING” and my daddy was on top of her holding her down saying, “NO PLEASE, NOT YET, NOT…
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A rookie police officer was out for his first ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came in telling them to disperse some people who were loitering. The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner. The rookie rolled down his window and said, “Let’s get off the corner, people.” A few glances, but no one moved, so he barked again, “Let’s get off that corner…NOW!” Intimidated, the group of people…
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Sometimes women are overly suspicious of their husbands. When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset. “You’re running around with other women,” she charged. “You’re being unreasonable,” Adam responded. “You’re the only woman on earth.” The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by someone poking him in the chest. It was Eve. “What do you think you’re doing?” Adam demanded. “Counting your ribs,” said Eve.
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There was a man who computed his taxes for 1998 and discovered that he owed $3407. He packaged up his payment and included this letter: Dear IRS: Enclosed is my 1998 Tax Return & payment. Please take note of the attached article from the USA Today newspaper. In the article, you will see that the Pentagon is paying $171.50 for hammers and NASA has paid $600.00 for a toilet seat. Please find enclosed four toilet seats (value $2400) and six…
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What’s the difference between your mama and a 747? -Everyone hasn’t been on a 747
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IRS Worker: It’s been one month since my last visit and I still feel miserable. Doctor: Did you follow the instructions on the medicine I gave you? IRS Worker: I sure did. The bottle said “Keep tightly closed.” (PS — Hey, I know the fact that the patient is an IRS employee does NOT make the joke any funnier for YOU, but I’m not gonna turn down ANY opportunity to diss those slimy bastards!!)
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“How come you’re late?” asks the boss as John Swiftless comes walking through the door, about a half hour late for his shift at the plant. “It was awful!” John explains. “I was walking down Oak Street, and there was this terrible accident. A man was lying in the middle of the street; he’d been thrown from his car. His leg was broken, his skull was fractured, and there was blood everywhere. Thank God I took that First-Aid course! All…
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