Hey baby Jokes

Baby Talk

A man comes home from a tough day of work looking to unwind. After a relaxing dinner with his wife, they begin to get ready for bed but the man was not yet ready to slumber. The man called over to his wife in the bathroom, “My little boopey-boo, I’m lonely.” As the woman crosses her room to the husband, she trips on the carpet and falls on her face. The husband with a concerned look on his face says,…

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Baby Names

A man and woman marry after a brief courtship and all is well for a time. Eventually they are blessed with child. The woman’s time comes, and as she is taken into the operating room, she calls the husband over. “Honey, there’s something I really have to tell you. There is as an very old tradition in our families that the oldest living male gets to name any new children born to anyone in the family. That means my brother…

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Little Johnny meets new baby

Little Johnny’s next door neighbors had recently had a baby. Due to complications, the baby was born without ears. Little Johnny’s parents decided to go and see the new baby one day. Johnny’s father explained to him about the baby and told Johnny not to make the slightest hint about the baby’s ears. Johnny agreed and said that he would be on his best behavior and say nothing about the baby’s ears. Johnny and his family went to the baby’s…

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Hey masturbata!

(sung to tune of the Macarena) by Adam Sandler ************************************* Sitting in my house, and I know that I’m alona, Feeling kinda horny, got a jingle in my bona. Go and grab a Penthouse it’s the one with Sharon Stona. Hey Masturbata!! I go a little faster and its feeling kind of nicea, Once ain’t quite enough so I have to do it twicea. If you wanna spank the monkey I can give you good advicea. Hey Masturbata!! I use…

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Baby Pictures

Baby Photographer The Smiths had no children and decided to use a proxy father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, “I’m off. The man should be here soon.” Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. “Good morning madam. You don’t know me but I’ve come to….” “Oh, no need to explain. I’ve been expecting…

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2 gay guys have a baby

There are these two gay guys and they really want to have a baby together, so they go out looking and finally find a woman to bear their child for them… well after the baby’s born they go to the nursery where they keep the newborns and all the babies are screaming!! …but then they see one little boy off to the side and he’s really calm. They say, “Well that must be ours, he’s just so precious!” they then…

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Official Baby Boomer Exam

OFFICIAL BABY BOOMER EXAM Answers below 1. “Kookie; Kookie. Lend me your ________________.” 2. The “battle cry” of the hippies in the sixties was “Turn on; tune in;________________.” 3. After the Lone Ranger saved the day and rode off into the sunset, the grateful citizens would ask, “Who was that masked man?” Invariably, someone would answer, “I don’t know, but he left this behind.” What did he leave behind?__________________ 4. Folk songs were played side by side with rock and…

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Texas Baby

A Texan bought a round of drinks for all in the bar and said that his wife had just produced “a typical Texas baby” weighing twenty pounds. “Wow! Twenty pounds!” exclaimed many at the bar, as they congratulated the proud father. Two weeks later, he returned to the bar. The bartender recognized him and asked, “Aren’t you the father of the typical Texas baby that weighed twenty pounds at birth? How much does he weigh now?” The proud father answered,…

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Another white baby

A newfie and a black man were both admiring their newborn babies at the hospital nursery. The newfie looks at the black guy and says, “Can I ask you a question?” The black guy says sure so the newfie says, “This is our 2nd child. We really want a black child but they keep turning out white.” The black guy looks at the white newfie and says, “So what is your question?” Newfie says, “Well what are we doing wrong?”…

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Read JokeAnother white baby