Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
1. Hey baby, why don’t you sit on my lap, and we’ll talk about the first thing that POPS up!!! 2. (motion for girl to come here with one finger), “If I can make you come with this finger, imagine what I could do with all five!” 3. Nice shoes, wanna fuck? 4.If I told you that you had a nice body, would you hold it against me? 5. Fuck me if I’m wrong….but haven’t we met before? 6. Do…
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5. “Hey baby let’s play house, you can be the screen door and I will slam you all day” 4. “Is that a mirror in your pants because I can already see myself in them.’ 3. “Let’s play army, you be the good guy and I will be the bad guy and you can blow me away.” 2. “How do you like your eggs…Scrambled, Over-Easy or Fertilized.” 1. “What has 20 teeth and holds back a Tiger? …My Zipper!!!”
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Finishing their shopping at the mall, a couple discovers that their brand-new car was stolen. They file a report at the police station, and a detective drives them back to the parking lot to look for evidence. To their amazement, the car has been returned and there’s a note in it that says “I apologize for taking your car. My wife was having a baby and I hot-wired your ignition to rush her to the hospital. Please forgive the inconvenience.…
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Dear Son: Just a few lines to let you know I’m still alive. I will write this letter slowly because I know you can’t read fast. First the big news…your Dad heard that most accidents happen close to home so we moved. You won’t know the house when you come home as I can’t send you the address because the last redneck family that lived here took the house numbers with them so they wouldn’t have to change their address.…
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Sometimes advertising campaigns backfire. Here are a few true examples. 1. Coors translated it’s slogan “Turn it loose” into Spanish, where it was read as “Suffer from diarrhea.” 2. Clairol introduced the “Mist Stick” curling iron into Germany, where they later found out that ‘mist’ is the German equivalent of shit. 3. An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market to coincide with the Pope’s visit. But instead of “I saw the Pope” (el Papa), the…
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Nine months to the day following their wedding, the Coopers had a baby. Unfortunately it was born without arms or legs—without even a torso. It was just a head, still, the Coopers loved and cared for their child, spoiling and indulging it. Finally after 20 years, the Coopers took a much needed vacation, and whom should they meet but a European doctor who had recently achieved a medical breakthrough. “I know,” he said, “how to attach arms and legs to…
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ACCOUNTANTS are good with figures. ACTORS do it on cue. ADVERTISERS use the “new, improved” method. AMBULANCE DRIVERS come quicker. ARCHAEOLOGISTS like it old. ARCHITECTS have great plans. ARTISTS are exhibitionists. ASSEMBLY LINE WORKERS do it over and over. ASTRONOMERS do it with Uranus. ATTORNEYS make better motions. AUDITORS like to examine figures. BABYSITTERS charge by the hour. BAILIFFS always come to order. BAKERS knead it daily. BAND MEMBERS play all night. BANKERS do it with interest – penalty for…
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Man: “Haven’t we met before?” Woman: “Yes, I’m the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic.” Man: “Haven’t I seen you someplace before?” Woman: “Yes, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.” Man: “So, wanna go back to my place?” Woman: “Well, I don’t know. Will two people fit under a rock?” Man: “Your place or mine?” Woman: “Both. You go to your place and I’ll go to mine.” Man: “I’d really like to get into your pants.” Woman: “No thanks. There’s…
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1. I’ve smoked fatter joints than that. 2. Ahh, it’s cute. 3. Stop fingering me. 4. I’m sorry. 5. Who circumcised you? 6. Why don’t we just cuddle? 7. You know they have surgery to fix that. 8. It’s more fun to look at. 9. Make it dance. 10. You know, there’s a tower in Italy like that. 11. Can I paint a smiley face on that? 12. It looks like a nightcrawler. 13. Wow, and your feet are so…
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1. I’ve smoked fatter joints than that. 2. Ahh, it’s cute. 3. Who circumcised you? 4. Why don’t we just cuddle? 5. You know they have surgery to fix that. 6. It’s more fun to look at. 7. Make it dance. 8. You know, there’s a tower in Italy like that. 9. Can I paint a smiley face on that? 10. It looks like a nightcrawler. 11. Wow, and your feet are so big. 12. My last boyfriend was 4″…
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