Eclare Jokes - page 2

ya mom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yo mamma — THE LIST YO MAMMA IS SO FAT ?Yo momma so fat her nickname is “DAMN!” ?Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. ?Yo momma so fat we’re in her right now ?Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise ?Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone ?Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors ?Yo mamma so fat you have to roll…

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Business ‘dead horse’ solutions

Dakota tribal wisdom says that when you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount. However, in business we often try other strategies with dead horses, including the following: 1. Buying a stronger whip. 2. Changing riders. 3. Say things like, “This is the way we have always ridden this horse.” 4. Appointing a committee to study the horse. 5. Arranging to visit other sites to see how they ride dead horses. 6. Increasing the…

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Manipulating the system…

The phone rings at KGB headquarters. “Hello?” “Hello, is this KGB?” “Yes. What do you want?” “I’m calling to report my neighbor Yankel Rabinovitz as an enemy of the State. He is hiding undeclared diamonds inside his firewood.” “This will be noted,” said the KGB operative. The next day, the KGB goons come over to Rabinovitz’s house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept, break every piece of wood, find no diamonds, swear at Yankel Rabinovitz and leave.…

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Atomic War

Joe, a small young businessman was having a conversation with a large construction worker. It was about what would they would do if an atomic war had been declared and they only had twenty minutes to live. The construction worker said that he would fuck anything that moved. He then asked Joe what he would do. Joe replied, “I would stand perfectly still.”

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your mama so…

Your mama?s so nasty that when she goes to a hair salon, she says she needs a trim and opens up her shirt! Your mama’s so nasty she slows down Speed-Stick!! Your mama?s nose so big she makes Pinnochio look like a cat! Your mama?s so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. Your mama?s so fat she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for the new world! Your mama?s so fat she has been declared a natural habitat…

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Clinton Joke No. 15646

President Clinton was at the beach and got into trouble while swimming. He called for help, and three young men went to his rescue and pulled him ashore. Clinton wanted to show his gratitude, so he offered to give each of the young men what they would like, within reason. The first young man said that he would like to have a Harley Davidson motorcycle. Clinton told him he could select it and to just send him the bill. The…

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Read JokeClinton Joke No. 15646

A Visit to the Pediatrician’s Office

A beautiful, buxomy woman carrying a baby paid a visit to the pediatrician. She complained, “Doctor, there must be something wrong with the baby. Instead of gaining weight, he had already lost three ounces since last week.” The pediatrician placed the baby on the examining table and proceeded to examine him. Then he reached over and squeezed the woman’s breasts. After that, he unbuttoned her blouse, unstrapped her bra and proceeded to suck her nipple powerfully. “No wonder,” declared the…

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my wife is so cold !

.My wife is so cold……. … The mailman slipped on the front walkway. ..I turned off the air conditioner.! ..I leave the ice cream out ! ..Birds fly south ! ..Wolves put on sweaters! ..My backyard was declared the next site of the winter games! ..My attorney was hospitalized with frost-bite !! :)…sdl

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Around the World

A french man, an american man and a romanian man are on a plane. The french man sticks out his hand and declares, “We’re above France.” The other two, confused, ask him, “How did you know?” He answers “I stuck out my hand and could feel the top of the Eifel Tower.” The american then sticks out his hand and is sure that they’re flying above America. The french and romanian ask him how he knows. He replies, “I stuck…

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Bush in Office

December 30, 2004/Washington, D.C.(Associated Press) After four years of legal wrangling, George W. Bush was finally declared the winner of the 2000 Presidential Election yesterday. Bush, a Republican, will take the oath of office at noon today and serves until January 20, 2005, a term of about three weeks. Then he gives way to the undisputed winner of the 2004 Presidential Election, New York Senator Hillary Rodham Greenspan (formerly Clinton). Facing a drastically shortened presidency, Bush attempted to strike an…

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