Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Three ladies are sitting in a bar and they decide to give their husbands nicknames. They decide to name them after drinks. The first lady says, “I am going to name my husband 7up because he is 7 inches and always up.” The second lady says, “I am going to name my husband Mountain Dew because he is always mountin’ the dew.” The third lady says, “I am going to name mine Jack Daniels because he is a hard licker.”
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The president of France, Germany, and Bill Clinton sat down at a nice restaurant to eat and talk in France. After a few minutes, the waiter walks up to them, and says to the French president, “Le wine, monsier?” Because that’s what most French people drink, he nods his head. Then the waiter walks up to the German president and says, “Le vodka, monsier?” Because that is what most people in Germany drink, and nods his head. The the waiter…
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Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman’s personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. The results: Drink: Beer Personality: Casual, low-maintenance; down to earth. Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool. Drink: Blender Drinks Personality: Flaky, annoying; a pain in the ass. Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy. Drink: Mixed Drinks Personality: Older, has picky taste; knows what…
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A Navy Admiral, a Marine General and an Army General were having some drinks at the officer’s club in a major military base. After a few rounds of iced tea, the Navy Admiral boasted, “You know, the Navy has the bravest fighting men ever to serve in the Armed Forces. I can prove it to you all.” Before the others could protest, the Admiral proceeded to phone his headquarter and asked for the best Navy Seal in his command to…
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A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go back to the girl’s place. A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands. He then takes off his pants and washes his hands. The girl watches him and says, “You must be a dentist.” The guy, surprised, says, “Yes…how did you figure that out?” The girl says, “Easy…you keep washing your hands.” One thing…
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The big game hunter walked into the bar and bragged to everyone about his skills as a hunter. The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute that. But then he said that they could blindfold him and he would recognise any animal’s skin from its feel, and if he could locate the bullet hole he would even tell them what calibre rifle was used to shoot it. This was a bit too much for the other…
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A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the toothy reptile on the bar and turns to the astonished patrons. “I’ll make you all a deal. I’ll open this alligator’s mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the ‘gator will close his mouth for one minute. He’ll then open his mouth and I’ll remove my dick, unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink.” The crowd…
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An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender asks him, “You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it, it would taste better if you bought one at a time.” The Irishman replies, “Well, you see, I have two brothers. One…
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A man walks into the front door of a tavern, obviously drunk. He staggers up to the bar, seats himself on a stool, belches, and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender politely informs the man that it appears that he has already had plenty to drink and could not be served additional alcohol at this bar, and would he like a cab to be called for him. The drunk is briefly surprised, then quietly grumbles as he gets…
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why did the blonde burn her ear while ironing? The phone rang!! why did the blonde climb to the roof of the pub? she heard the drinks were on the house!! two blondes on their way to disneyland and they come across a fork in the road. the sign said disneyland left…so they went home!!
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