hogs
q: What’s the difference between a hog and a man? a: A hog does not have to sit in a bar all night buying drinks just so he can go home and screw a pig.
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Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Drinks Jokes - page 2
Make That To Go!
A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads : Cheese sandwich $1.50 Chicken sandwich $2.50 Hand Job $10.00 Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, He walks up to the bar and beckons one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men. “Yes?” she inquires with a knowing smile. “Can I help you?” “I was wondering,” whispers the man. “Are you the one who gives the…
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50 Reasons to be a Woman
1.Free drinks. 2.Free dinners. 3.Free movies (you get the point). 4.You can hug your friend without wondering if she thinks you’re gay. 5.You can hug your friend without wondering if YOU’RE gay. 6.You know ‘The Truth’ about whether size matters. 7.Speeding ticket? What’s that? 8.New lipstick gives you a whole new lease on life. 9.You never had to walk down the hall with your binder strategically positioned in high school. 10.If you have sex with someone and don’t call them…
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What not to offer a priest
A naive wife, ever the gracious hostess, was serving drinks at a party over the holidays. A friend of the couple brought his brother who had just been ordained a Priest. She offered the friend a drink from the tray and turned to the Priest and said, “I’m so sorry Father, I’ll go right back to the kitchen and bring you a Coke.” The Priest smiled and said, “No need. I may have alcohol. Priests abstain from sex, not the…
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Cowboys
A cowboy rides into town, hitches up his horse and walks into a bar. He goes up, gets a beer, drinks it, and walks out. Half a second passes and he bursts back into the bar and says, “All right which one of you mule patoots painted my horse’s face yellow?” A huge man-mountain stands up, looks down at the cowboy and says “I did”. The cowboy looks up at him and whispers, “The first coat’s dry.” … The same…
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Expensive Martinis
Old Joe walked into a bar and began ordering martini after martini. After each drink, he removed the olives and placed them in a jar. When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks were consumed, Joe got up to leave. “S’cuse me,” said the bartender. “What was that all about?” “Nothing,” answered Joe. “My wife just sent me out for a jar of olives.”
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Panda defined
A panda is walking down the Main Street when he is approached by a “Lady of the Night”. She says, “Hello darling, would you like a nice time?” The Panda says, “Um, yes why not?” So they both go back to the lady’s apartment. She makes a fabulous dinner, with every dish imaginable, provides drinks, plays good music. The inevitable happens. They go to bed and have a really great night. In the morning the Panda gets up, has a…
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Are you nuts?
There were two guys, Tom and John, sitting in a bar. Tom was inexperienced with women, while his friend John was a womanizer. They were just sitting there having their drinks when Tom noticed that there was a very attractive woman staring at him from across the bar. So he said, “John that pretty woman over there is staring at me what should I do?” John said, “Wink at her.” So Tom winks at her. After that the woman waves…
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What is the Difference?
Q- What is the Difference between a Fox and a Dog? A- About 5 Drinks
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The Challenge
A guy walks into a bar with his pet alligator. He lifts the beast up onto the bar and turns to the astonished patrons. “I’ll make you a deal”, he says. “I’ll open this alligator’s mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the ‘gator will close his mouth for one minute. When he opens it, I’ll remove my genitals intact. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will agree to buy me a drink. Deal?” The crowd all…
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