Z line Jokes - page 22

Not Looking Good

There was a man selling a horse, and beside that there was a bench. One day there were 2 girls sitting on the bench and the man said, “Do you want to buy my horse? He’s a very good horse but he don’t look so good,” the girls refused to buy the horse. A few days later a boy was sitting on the bench and he said, “Do you want to buy my horse? He’s a very good horse, but…

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Flying Complaint

“Stewardess!” “Yes, Sir?” “I want to complain about this airline. Every time I fly, I get the same seat. I can never see the in-flight movie from here, and there are no window blinds, so I can’t sleep for all that glare.” “Captain, kindly hush your mouth and just land the plane!”

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Engineers

Three engineering students were discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, “It had to be a mechanical engineer…look at all the joints.” The second said, “No, it must have been an electrical engineer…the central nervous system is a miracle of millions of electrical connections.” The third said, “Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline right through a recreational area?”

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Mother Says NO!

At the checkout line, a small boy and his mother were having a problem. The child was crying and begging for some special treat. He wants some candy or gum, and his mother won’t let him have any. At least that’s what I thought. Then I heard his mother’s reply. “No!” she said, looking the child squarely in the eye. “You may NOT have a baby sister today. That lady got the last one!”

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Blonde fools lawyer?

A lawyer and a stunning blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains, “I ask…

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Jew or Jewish

One day a teacher asked her class to think of a sentence that had either the word Jew or Jewish in it. One little girl raised her hand and after being called upon replied “Hannukah is a Jewish holiday.” The teacher was pleased with the response and said, “Yes, that’s very good.” A little boy in the corner raised his hand and announced “Jesus was a Jew.” The teacher was pleased with the response and said, “Yes, that’s very good.”…

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clinton stops traffic

A man in D.C. was driving home and got stuck in traffic. He said to himself, “This traffic is worse than normal, we just aren’t moving at all.” He sees a traffic cop walking down between the cars talking to the drivers, so he rolls down his window and asks what’s going on. The officer tells him, “Clinton’s lawyers have just agreed to make an out of court settlement to Paula Jones, without Clinton’s knowledge. Clinton’s just heard about it,…

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morals

One day the teacher is explaining to her class about morals. She tells them about how her grandfather would raise chickens and that each morning, he would go out, gather the eggs, put them into cartons and carry them to the supermarket to sale. One day he ran out of cartons, so he put all his eggs into a basket, put the basket onto the back of his truck, and headed into town. Along the way, he hit a pothole,…

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Wal-Mart Blind Associate

A woman goes into Wal-Mart to buy a rod and reel. She doesn’t know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the register. There is a Wal-Mart “associate” standing there with dark shades on. She says, “Excuse me, sir…can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?” He says, “Ma’am, I’m blind but if you will drop it on the counter I can tell you everything you need to know about it from…

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