Young men Jokes - page 14

Shaggy Chicken Story

My father was in the fertilised egg business when I was young. He had several hundred young layers, called pullets, and 8 or 10 roosters whose job was to fertilise the eggs. My uncle kept records and any rooster or pullet that didn’t perform well went into the pot and was replaced. Now this took an awful lot of time. So when my uncle saw a set of eight tiny bells that each rang a different tone he promptly bought…

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A Sick Hamster?

I had to take my son’s hamster to the vet. Here’s what happened: Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was “something wrong” with one of the two hamsters he holds prisoner in his room. “He’s just lying there looking sick,” he told me. “Oldest trick in the book,” I informed him. “You go in to see what’s wrong with the sick one and the other one sneaks up behind you and bonks you…

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New Teacher

A certain elementary school got a new teacher. This new teacher was an atheist and proud of it. In fact, he was always talking about it, and since the kids were fairly young, he intimidated them. One day he boldly announced, “My mother was an atheist, my father was an atheist and I’m an atheist. How many in this room are atheists?” The kids, being a little scared of him, all raised their hands; all except one little girl. So…

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The Elevator

Upon graduation from high school in a very rural area, young John was to be escorted to “the big city” by ma and pa to scout out the location of the college he would be attending next year. Ma and Pa had never been to “the big city” either, but they were sure that they would be able to safely excort their precious son and help to answer any questions he might have-since everything in “the big city” would be…

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President Clinton in Africa

Earlier this year, when President Clinton visited various African nations, he had some interesting comments to say just prior to a press conference. At one of his stops, as he came down to the bottom of the steps off of Air Force One, a shapely African woman walked up to greet him. “Hello, young lady, what tribe do you belong to?” the President asks. “Ubange,” she answered, to which the President said, “Youbetcha. Right after the press conference.”

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Bill Gates, you lose!

Bill Gates dies and goes to hell. Satan greets him: “Welcome Mr Gates, we’ve been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You’ve been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. I’ll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you’ll be locked up forever.” Satan takes Bill to a huge lake of fire in which millions of poor souls are tormented and tortured. He then takes him to a…

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Kid on a Tricycle

There was this young boy who really liked going fast. So his parents bought him a tricycle. One day his brother came over with his brand new car. The young boy ran up to his brother and begged him to give him a ride in his new, fast car. The brother said “How about this. I’ll tie your tricyle to the back of my car and I’ll pull down the street.” The young boy accepted immediately. The arrangement was that…

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Dalmatian’s Duties

A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children began discussing the dog’s duties. “They use him to keep crowds back,” said one youngster. “No,” said another. “He’s just for good luck.” A third child brought the argument to a close with this comment: “They use the dogs,” she said firmly, “to find…

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Homeless Ransacker

An elderly gentleman came home one night to find a homeless girl of about eighteen ransacking the place. He grabbed her by the arm and was just about to call the police, when the girl dropped down on her knees and pleaded, “Please don’t call the police, Mister. Oh, please!!! If you don’t, I’ll let you make love to me and do whatever you want with my body!” The old man thought for a moment and decided to give in.…

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Run, Jane, Run!

Two natural gas company service personnel, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood. They parked their truck at the end of an alley and worked their way to the other end. At the last house, a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they checked her gas meter. When they finished, the senior supervisor, proud of his physical condition, challenged his younger co-worker to a foot race…

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