Young lady Jokes - page 4

Fast Bill

Bill rents an apartment in New York, and goes to the lobby to put his name on the group mailbox. While he was there, an attractive young lady comes out of the apartment next to the mailboxes wearing a robe. Bill smiles at the young girl and she strikes up a conversation with him. As they talk, her robe slips open, and it’s quite obvious that she has nothing under the robe. Poor Bill breaks out into a sweat trying…

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Animal Training Auditions

Last time the circus came to town, only two applicants answered an ad in the local paper for an animal trainer. The owner decided to audition the male and female applicants. At first glance, it appeared that the female was much better prepared, since she was wearing a very long, flowing cape, with a whip and chair. She looked more like a model than a trainer. The man’s only distinguishing feature was a soggy cigar stuffed between his cracked and…

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Would Eye

A man needs to get an artificial eye due to a work injury. The eye doctor shows him a glass eye and a wooden eye. He can only afford the wooden eye so he buys it. He is embarassed to have a wooden eye and doesn’t socialize. He hears of a handicap dance and desides that he would risk going, thinking that no one would make fun of him at the dance since they have disabilities too. When he gets…

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THE JANITOR

Bill Holbrook, the janitor at the wealthiest church in town, ordered some cleaning supplies from the hardware store. When they arrived, the driver asked Bill to sign for them. Bill went into the pastor’s office and asked the pastor to sign for them. Puzzled, the pastor told Bill to sign for them. “I can’t,” said Bill. “I can’t read or write.” “Well,” replied the pastor, “I’m going to have to let you go, Bill. I’m sorry but we can’t have…

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Two guys save a life

Two guys were seated at the end of a bar when a gorgeous young lady sits down at the other end and orders a martini. The two guys are staring at her while she drinks her martini and all of a sudden she begans to choke. The two guys get up and run to her end of the bar. The first guy said “Can you speak?” She shook her head No! The second Guy said “Can you breathe?” She shook…

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Trip to Hawaii

Two priests were going to Hawaii on vacation and decided that they would make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy. As soon as the plane landed, they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts and shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc. The next morning, they went to the beach, dressed in their “tourist”garb and were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a “drop dead”…

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Clinton

One Friday morning, a teacher came up with a novel way to motivate her class. She told them that she would read a quote and the first student to correctly identify who said it would receive the rest of the day off. She started with “This was England’s finest hour.” Little Suzy instantly jumped up and said,” Winston Churchill.” “Congratulations said the teacher you may go home.” The teacher then said, “Ask not what your country can do for you…”…

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President Clinton in Africa

Earlier this year, when President Clinton visited various African nations, he had some interesting comments to say just prior to a press conference. At one of his stops, as he came down to the bottom of the steps off of Air Force One, a shapely African woman walked up to greet him. “Hello, young lady, what tribe do you belong to?” the President asks. “Ubange,” she answered, to which the President said, “Youbetcha. Right after the press conference.”

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Read JokePresident Clinton in Africa

Homeless Ransacker

An elderly gentleman came home one night to find a homeless girl of about eighteen ransacking the place. He grabbed her by the arm and was just about to call the police, when the girl dropped down on her knees and pleaded, “Please don’t call the police, Mister. Oh, please!!! If you don’t, I’ll let you make love to me and do whatever you want with my body!” The old man thought for a moment and decided to give in.…

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How can I do that?!

One day farmer Jones was in town picking up supplies for his farm. He stopped by the hardware store and picked up a bucket and an anvil, then stopped by the livestock dealer to buy a couple of chickens and a goose. Now he had a problem: how to carry all of his purchases home. The livestock dealer said, “Why don’t you put the anvil in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm…

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Read JokeHow can I do that?!