World war i Jokes - page 2

50 Fun Things to Do in a Mall

1. Ride mechanical horses with coins fished out of the fountain. 2. Try pants on backwards at the Gap. Ask the salesperson if they make your butt look big. 3. Dial 900 numbers from demonstration phones in Radio Shack. 4. Sneeze on the sample tray at Hickory Farms and helpfully volunteer to consume its now unwanted contents. 5. At the bottom of an escalator, scream ‘MY SHOELACES! AAAGH!’ 6. Ask the sales personnel at the music store whether inflated CD…

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Read Joke50 Fun Things to Do in a Mall

Veteran’s Day

An American soldier, serving in World War II, had just returned from several weeks of intense action on the Italian front lines. He had finally been granted R&R and had made it to Southampton, England, there to board a train bound for a few days in London. The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train, looking for an empty seat. The only seat unoccupied was directly across from a well dressed middle aged lady…

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Read JokeVeteran’s Day

Wrong Bitch

An American soldier, serving in World War II, had just returned from several weeks of intense action on the Italian front lines. He had finally been granted R&R and had made it to Southampton, England, there to board a train bound for a few days in London. The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train, looking for an empty seat. The only seat unoccupied was directly across from a well dressed middle aged lady…

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Read JokeWrong Bitch

A Load Off My Mind

This elderly Italian man went to his parish priest and asked if he would hear his confession. The priest assured him that he would, and the two took up the customary positions on either side of the divider. “Well, Father,” began the old man. “At the beginning of World War II, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans. So I hid her in my attic, and they never found her.” “That’s…

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Read JokeA Load Off My Mind

Genuine Concern

After the successful D-Day invasion of France during World War II, General Dwight Eisenhower, the Allied Supreme Commander overseeing the invasion was inspecting a British section of the Allied Lines when German planes came over and strafed them. The party dived for cover. As soon as it was safe to emerge a senior British officer hurried across to see if Eisenhower was all right. Finding him unharmed, he expressed his relief in fervent terms. Ike thanked him for his solicitude.…

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Read JokeGenuine Concern

No Mistake

During World War II, Mrs. Anderson decided to celebrate Thanksgiving by having several soldiers in as guests. She called the neighboring army base, was connected with one of the first sergeants, and asked that three soldiers be sent to her house the following Thursday. “And Sergeant,” she added, “I do not wish any of them to be Jewish.” “I understand, ma’am,” said the sergeant. Came Thursday and on Mrs. Anderson’s doorstep stood three fine looking black soldiers in spotless uniforms.…

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Read JokeNo Mistake

Baillie Gifford Prize Shortlist Reveals It’s Not Just Books, It’s a Safari of ‘Horny Wolves, Eunuchs, and Pirates’!

Well, move over, weighty biographies and profound philosophical treatises! The prestigious Baillie Gifford prize has unveiled a shortlist that reads less like a literary award and more like the guest list for the world’s most interesting (and slightly unhinged) dinner party. ? We’re talking ‘horny wolves, eunuchs, and pirates’ all vying for top nonfiction honors. Apparently, authors like Helen Garner and Richard Holmes are at the forefront of this wild ride, with their nonfiction books not only exploring these… diverse…

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Read JokeBaillie Gifford Prize Shortlist Reveals It’s Not Just Books, It’s a Safari of ‘Horny Wolves, Eunuchs, and Pirates’!

At 91, Maureen Duffy Proves You’re Never Too Old to Pioneer, Scoops Prize for ‘Mature’ Talent

At 91, Maureen Duffy is officially redefining ‘pioneering,’ charmingly snagging the inaugural ‘Pioneer’ prize! ? This delightful new literary award, specifically designed for female writers over 60, was thoughtfully launched by RSL president Bernardine Evaristo. And here’s the best part: it’s funded by the generous £100,000 Evaristo herself won from another prestigious women’s prize. Talk about empowering the seasoned literary ladies with a brilliant pay-it-forward scheme! ?? It seems the literary world is finally celebrating the wisdom (and wit!) that…

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Read JokeAt 91, Maureen Duffy Proves You’re Never Too Old to Pioneer, Scoops Prize for ‘Mature’ Talent

Suspended Pride Leader Ordered to Unlock Bank Accounts AND Social Media, Apparently Forgot How to Share

Suspended Pride Leader Ordered to Unlock Bank Accounts AND Social Media, Apparently Forgot How to Share! ? Well, this is a bit awkward. A top figure at London’s Pride parade, who is currently fending off accusations of using the organization’s cash like his personal piggy bank, just got a stern order from the high court. ???? He’s been told to relinquish control of everything: Bank accounts (naturally, for obvious reasons) Social media passwords (because who needs separate lives for their…

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Read JokeSuspended Pride Leader Ordered to Unlock Bank Accounts AND Social Media, Apparently Forgot How to Share