Woman woman Jokes - page 55

Chinese Food

One night, a couple goes to a chinese resturant to celebrate their anniversary. They are happily chatting away when the waiter comes up and asks them what they would like to order. “I don’t know what I want”, says the woman. “What are your specials?” “Well, tonight we have a spactacular special. It is called “Cream of Sumyung Gi. It’s ingredients are a family secret, but all the customers who have had it rave about the taste.” The woamn orders…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeChinese Food

Run, Jane, Run!

Two natural gas company service personnel, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood. They parked their truck at the end of an alley and worked their way to the other end. At the last house, a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they checked her gas meter. When they finished, the senior supervisor, proud of his physical condition, challenged his younger co-worker to a foot race…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeRun, Jane, Run!

Whole Lotta Yo Mama

SO BIG Yo mama’s so big, that she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step. Yo mama’s so big, her belly button’s got an echo. Yo mama’s so big, she can’t wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back. Yo mama’s so big, she rollerskates on busses. Yo mama’s so big, she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers. Yo mama’s so big, she uses a jungle gym for a walker. Yo mama’s so big, she uses bowling…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeWhole Lotta Yo Mama

Well, she was different!

A middle-aged woman has a heart attack and is taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she has a near death experience. During that experience, she sees God and asks if this is it. God says no and explains that she has another 30 years to live. Upon her recovery, she decides to just stay in the hospital and have a face lift, liposuction, breast augmentation, tummy tuck, etc. She even has someone come in and change her…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeWell, she was different!

A Day with Jesus

Pushing his way to the front of the crowd, Jesus waved his arms if front of the mad throng. When they had quieted, he helped up a woman whom they had been pelting with stones. “This is wrong! Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.” Suddenly a rock came flying from the midst of the mob, and caught the woman square in the forehead. Looking across the sea of faces, Jesus swore, “Dammit! Is that you, Mother?”

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeA Day with Jesus

Ze French

Pierre was arrested in paris for raping a dead woman. When brought before the judge, he was asked what he had to say for himself. Pierre replied, sheepishly, “Pardon, your Honor, I did not know she was dead, I thought she was English!”

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeZe French

The Glass-eyed Blonde

A man is eating in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous blonde eating at the next table. He has been checking her out all night, but lacks the nerve to go talk to her. Suddenly she sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out of her socket towards the man. He reflexively grabs and snatches it out of the air. “Oh my god, I am sooo sorry,” the woman says, as she pops her eye back in place.…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeThe Glass-eyed Blonde

Nasty Parrot

One day, a old lady decides to buy a parrot to keep her company. As soon as she brings it home…she sets it up in the corner in a nice cage, sits down, and starts to read a book. Pretty soon she hears…. “What the hell are you reading?” Astounded that her parrot talked like that, she told her parrot… “If I hear that out of you one more time, you will be punished.” A few minutes later, she hears……

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeNasty Parrot

Who’s the Dog?

A woman came up behind her husband while he was enjoying his morning coffee and slapped him on the back of the head. “I found a piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name “Marylou” written on it,” she said, furious. “You had better have an explanation!” “Calm down, Honey,” the man replied. “Remember last week when I was at the dog track? That was the name of the dog I bet on.” The next morning, his wife…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeWho’s the Dog?