Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
There was a virgin that was going out on a date for the first time and she told her grandmother about it. Her grandmother says, “Sit here and let me tell you about those young boys. He is going to try to kiss you; you are going to like that, but don’t let him do that.” She continued, “He is going to try to feel your breasts; you are going to like that, but don’t let him do that. He…
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A girl came running to her father in tears. “What’s the matter?” asked her father. “You gave me some bad financial advice,” she said. “I did? What did I tell you?” “You told me to put my money in that big bank, and now that big bank is in trouble.” “What are you talking about? That’s one of the largest banks in the world, he said. “Surely, there must be some mistake.” “I don’t think so,” said the girl. “They…
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This homeowner got into his grubbiest clothes on Sunday morning and set about doing all the chores he’d been putting off for weeks. He’d cleaned the garage, pruned the hedges and was halfway through mowing the lawn when a woman pulled up in the driveway and yelled out her window, “Say, what do you get for yard work?” The fellow thought for a minute, then answered, “The lady who lives here lets me sleep with her.”
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Two candidates for political office inadvertently scheduled simultaneous campaign rallies in the same park of a small New England town. After a lengthy round of speeches, the candidates worked their way through the crowd–shaking hands, kissing babies and beaming mightily. Suddenly, the skies opened, and it began to rain. One of the candidates fled to take shelter in a nearby restaurant, along with half a dozen regulars. The other candidate, however, continued to move through the crowd–shaking hands kissing babies,…
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After nearly forty years in practice as a gynecologist, John decided he had enough money to retire and take up his real love, auto mechanics. He left his practice, enrolled in auto mechanics school, and studied hard. The day of the final exam came and John worried if he would be able to complete the test with the same proficiency as his younger classmates. Most of the students completed their exam in two hours. John, on the other hand, took…
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A man was called in for an audit by the IRS. So, he asked his accountant for advice on what to wear. “Wear your worst clothing and an old pair of shoes. Let them think you are a pauper,” the accountant replied. Then he asked his lawyer the same question, but got the opposite advice: “Don’t let them intimidate you. Wear your best suit and an expensive tie.” Confused, the man went to his Minister, told him of the conflicting…
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This memo is to announce the development of a new software system which will be Year 2000 compliant. This program is known as “Millennium Year Application Software System” (MYASS). Next Monday there will be a meeting in which I will show MYASS to everyone. We will hold demonstrations throughout the month so that all employees will have an opportunity to get a good look at MYASS. We have not addressed networking aspects yet, so currently only one person at a…
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A young ensign had nearly completed his first overseas tour of duty when he was given an opportunity to display his ability at getting the ship under way. With a stream of crisp commands, he had the decks buzzing with men, and soon the ship had left port and was steaming out of the channel. The ensign’s efficieny had been remarkable! In fact the deck was abuzz with talk that he had set a new record for getting a destroyer…
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President Clinton had been walking around the White House and going to public and private meetings all day with a pair of pink ladies underwear on his left arm. Reporters and staff observed this phenomenon and of course wondered what was going on. Finally, at an afternoon press conference, Sam Donaldson got brave enough to ask the President why he had a pair of ladies panties on his arm. The President looked genuinely surprised, and replied, “Oh, that. It’s the…
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A blonde buys a ticket and wins the lottery. She goes to Austin to claim it and the man verifies her ticket number. The blonde says, “I want my $20 million.” The man replied, “No, mam. It doesn’t work that way. We give you a million today and then you’ll get the rest spread out for the next 19 years.” The blonde said, “Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I won it and I want it.” Again,…
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