Wit Jokes - page 41

Baby Kittens

A three-year-old went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother there were two boy kittens and two girl kittens. “How did you know?” his mother asked. “Daddy picked them up and looked underneath,” he replied. “I think it was printed on the bottom.”

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeBaby Kittens

I Don’t Understand

Nancy was Catholic, but her fiance, Chris, was not. Since my friends were planning to be married in the Catholic Church, Chris made sure to listen carefully throughout their prenuptial sessions. At one meeting, the priest turned to Chris and told him, “Since you are not Catholic, we shall have the ceremony without Eucharist.” Later that day, Chris was noticeably upset, so Nancy asked him what was wrong. “I don’t understand, he said. “How can we have the ceremony without…

(4)Loading...

Read JokeI Don’t Understand

Elderly Spinsters Will

An elderly spinster called a lawyer’s office and told the receptionist she wanted to see the lawyer about having a will prepared. The receptionist suggested they set up an appointment for a convenient time for the spinster to come into the office. The woman replied, “You must understand, I’ve lived alone all my life, I rarely see anyone, and I don’t like to go out. Would it be possible for the lawyer to come to my house?” The receptionist checked…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeElderly Spinsters Will

Don’t shoot!

Many years ago, a girlfriend of mine attempted to introduce “culture” into my dismal life, by taking me to our nation’s finest museums, art galleries and concert halls. I was genuinely impressed with her love of the arts, and made a serious attempt to learn, but I guess I forgot to mention to her that “creating humor” is ALSO an “art.” On one journey to a nice art gallery, we marveled at a life-sized replica of the statue of the…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeDon’t shoot!

Growing Pains

A 7 year old boy and his brother were upstairs in the bedroom. The 7 year old was explaining that it was high time that the two begin swearing. When the little brother responded enthusiastically, the 7 year old hatched a plann, “When we go down stairs for breakfast this morning, I’ll say `Hell` and you say `Ass`. The 4 year old happily agreed. As the two boys were seating themselves at the breakfast table, their mother walked in and…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeGrowing Pains

Canadian Conflict

One day, a Newfie, a Quebecer and an Albertan were walking down the street when they came across an old lamp. The Newfie picked it up and gave it a good rub. Lo and behold, out popped a genie. The genie said, “I’ve been imprisoned in that lamp for 2000 years and since you have released me, I will give each of you one wish.” The Newfie thought about it for a minute and said, “Well, my granfather was a…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeCanadian Conflict

A Quick Recovery

After undergoing complicated brain surgery, Lena suddenly fell into a coma. The doctors tried very hard to resuscitate her but to no avail. As she lay unconscious in the intensive care unit, her husband Tom was ushered to her bedside. One of the doctors said in a quiet somber voice, “She fell into a coma during the operation. I’m sorry but we did everything possible to revive her. The prognosis is not good. Unless she regains consciousness soon, we’re ruling…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeA Quick Recovery

The Preacher’s Ass

A preacher wanted to raise money for his church and on being told that there was a fortune in horse-racing, decided to purchase one and enter it in the races. However at the local auction, the going price for a horse was so high that he ended up buying a donkey instead. He figured that since he had it, he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races. To his surprise, the donkey came in third! The…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeThe Preacher’s Ass

poll

Today we took a poll to see how many women would sleep with the President. 10% said “no” 10% said “yes” and the other 80% said “never again”

(1)Loading...

Read Jokepoll