Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
My dad bought my mom a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, I asked Dad how she was doing with it. “Oh,” said my dad, “I persuaded her to switch to a clarinet.” “How come?” I asked. “Well,” he answered “because with a clarinet she can’t sing . . .”
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A man sitting at the window one evening casually calls to his wife, “There’s that woman that our next door neighbor is fooling around with!” His wife dropped the plate she was drying, ran into the living room, knocked over a vase and broke it on her way to the window. “WHERE? WHERE? she demanded. “Right over there on the corner. The lady in the blue dress.” “YOU IDIOT! THAT’S HIS WIFE!!!” “Yes, I know,” the husband said, with a…
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Last week, God, Jesus, the Pope, Billy Graham, Moses and his Messenger, Gabriel, had a very important meeting. They were troubled by the President of the United States” inappropriate behavior. They decided that the only viable course of action left was to create an 11th Commandment to get their message across to him. The problem they faced was how to word this new commandment so that it equaled the other commandments in style and holy inspiration. After great meditation and…
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With Viagra such a hit, Pfizer is bringing forth a whole line of drugs oriented towards improving the performance of men in today’s society….. DIRECTRA: a dose of this drug given to men before leaving on car trips caused 72 percent of them to stop and ask directions when they got lost, compared to a control group of 0.2 percent. PROJECTRA: men given this experimental new drug were far more likely to actually finish a household repair project before starting…
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Within his few months of eternity, George Bush finds Moses walking the streets of gold. Thinking to himself: “It would be interesting to compare notes, head-of-state to head-of-state.” He approaches Moses. Moses sees him coming, turns white and runs the other way! Puzzled by this reaction, George goes on his way in paradise. A few hundred years pass, and George Bush again sees Moses walking the streets of Gold. This time he is able to stand right beside Moses before…
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During the glorious days of communism, to commemorate the visit of the Soviet President Andropov to Poland, the head of the Polish Communist Party commissioned a popular Warsaw artist for an oil painting celebrating the historical visit of Lenin to Poland. The piece was to be entitled “Lenin In Poland.” Now this artist hated the Poland Communist Party and therefore also detested Lenin more so but since the pay was lucrative, he decided to accept the commission. Since there was…
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A sultan is bored with all the jugglers and clowns, so he warns his servant, “Unless you find some good entertainment for me tonight, it’s off with your head!” The man is terrified, but he vows he will not fail. Day turns to night, and it’s time for the show. “Well what have you got for me?” the sultan booms. “Tonight, Sire,” squeaks the servant, “we have a man who will make love to a dozen women before your very…
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A traveling salesman visits to a small town in the Midwest and sees a circus banner reading, “Don’t miss the Amazing Goldstein!” Curious, he buys a ticket and sits through the usual circus acts. Animals, clowns, contortionists, and other questionable acts. Finally the trumpets blare and all eyes turn to the center ring. There in the middle of the ring is a table with three walnuts on it. In comes a little old Jewish man, five feet tall and barely…
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Did you know that.. The average chocolate bar has 8 insect legs in it. The average human eats 8 spiders in their lifetime at night. Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland because he doesn’t wear pants. Marilyn Monroe had six toes. If you keep a goldfish in a dark room it will eventually turn white. The names of all the continents start with the same letter that they end with. If the population of China walked past you in…
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1. If you eat something, but no one else sees you eat it, it has no calories. 2. When drinking a diet soda while eating a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are cancelled by the diet soda. 3. When you eat with someone else, calories don’t count as long as you don’t eat more than they do. 4. Foods used for medicinal purposes never count. e.g. hot chocolate, brandy, toast, Sara Lee cheesecake. 5. If you fatten…
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