Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
One time, when the Chicago Cubs were digging deep in the barrel for new talent, a scout excitedly phoned manager Charlie Grimm from somewhere in the sticks. “Charlie,” he shouted, “I’ve landed the greatest young pitcher in the land. He struck out every man who came to bat—twenty-seven in a row! Nobody even got a foul until two were out in the ninth. The pitcher is right here with me. What shall I do?” Back came Grimm’s voice. “Sign up…
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Gals, when someone asks, “Why aren’t you married?” Here are some suggested retorts: “You haven’t asked yet.” “I was hoping to do something meaningful with my life.” “What? And spoil my great life?” “Nobody would believe me in white.” “Because I just love hearing this question.” “Just lucky, I guess.” “It gives my mother something to live for.” “My fiance is awaiting parole.” “I’m still hoping for a shot at Miss America.” “Do you know how hard it is to…
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There was this young boy who really liked going fast. So his parents bought him a tricycle. One day his brother came over with his brand new car. The young boy ran up to his brother and begged him to give him a ride in his new, fast car. The brother said “How about this. I’ll tie your tricyle to the back of my car and I’ll pull down the street.” The young boy accepted immediately. The arrangement was that…
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After the revivals had concluded, the three pastors were discussing the results with one another. The Methodiest minister said, “The revival worked out great for us! We gained four new families.” The Baptist preacher said, “We did better than that! We gained six new families.” The Presbyterian pastor said, “Well, we did even better than that! We got rid of our ten biggest troublemakers!”
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A lady dies and goes to heaven. She arrives at the pearly gates and is greeted by Saint Peter. There are a few people waiting, so she strikes up a conversation with him. Just then, she hears a blood curdling scream! “What was that?” she asks. “Oh, it’s nothing,” says Saint Peter, “It’s just someone getting a hole drilled in their head so they can be fitted for their halo.” A few seconds later, she hears another agonized scream, this…
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A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children began discussing the dog’s duties. “They use him to keep crowds back,” said one youngster. “No,” said another. “He’s just for good luck.” A third child brought the argument to a close with this comment: “They use the dogs,” she said firmly, “to find…
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The drill sergeant, making his morning announcements to a group of newcomers in a training camp, stated: “Today, Gentlemen, I have some good news and some bad news. First, the good: Private Brabant will be setting the pace on our morning run.” With this, the platoon was overjoyed, as Private Brabant was overweight and terribly slow. But then the sergeant finished his statement: “Now for the bad news: Private Brabant will be driving a truck.”
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Things you shouldn’t say to a cop Sorry, Officer, I didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t plugged in. And that hooker I met at the AIDS clinic said you were a nice guy. Hey, you must’ve been doin’ about 125mph to keep up with me! Good job! That uniform makes your ass look really big. Excuse me. Is “stick up” hyphenated? I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a Police Officer. You don’t happen…
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This fellow is looking to buy a saw to cut down some trees in his back yard. He goes to a chainsaw shop and asks about various models. The dealer tells him, “Look, I have lots of models, but why don’t you save yourself a lot of time and aggravation and get the top-of-the-line model. You can’t go wrong with this chainsaw, and it will cut a hundred cords of wood for you in one day. So, the man takes…
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A man makes a suggestion to his wife. “Honey, what do you say that tonight we change positions?” His wife responds with, “Yes, I would really like that! Tonight, you stand by the ironing board, and I’ll lie on the couch and watch TV.”
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