Wit Jokes - page 197

Little Boy

A couple was driving to California on vacation with their young son. As they passed the Colorado River, the boy suddenly shouted out, “Look, Dad, a dang!” His father, having no idea what his son was talking about, asked, “What is a dang, son?” The little boy replied, “Well, it’s really a dam but you told me not to cuss!”

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeLittle Boy

Isn’t it Ironic?

“Something you’ll never hear a woman say: ‘My, what an attractive scrotum!’” “I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with ‘Guess’ on it. I said, ‘Thyroid problem?’” “My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.” “I discovered I scream the same way whether I’m about to be devoured by a Great White or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.” “There are only two reasons to sit on the back row of an airplane: Either you…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeIsn’t it Ironic?

Polish Hunting Trip

Two polish men went away for their annual hunting trip, and by accident, one was shot by the other. His worried companion got him out of the woods, into the car, and off to the nearest hospital. After several hours, the doctor came out with a worried expression on his face. “Well, doctor,” he inquired anxiously. “Is he going to live?” “It’s hard to say,” answered the doctor. “He would have a better chance if you hadn’t gutted him first.”

(0)
Loading...

Read JokePolish Hunting Trip

Making the Grade

William Phelps taught English literature at Yale University for 41 years. One day while marking an examination paper before Christmas, Phelps came across the note: “God only knows the answer to this question. Merry Christmas.” Phelps returned the paper with the annotation: “God gets an A. You get an F. Happy New Year.”

(2)Loading...

Read JokeMaking the Grade

I Can’t Believe They Said That!

Dan Quayle: “potatoe” A Massachusetts politician was accused of attacking and cursing another politician during a local meeting. The first politician was quoted in the local paper, “I did not attack anyone or say a single cuss word, and anyone who says I did is a damn liar.” Bill Clinton in 1992: “I will have the most ethical administration in the nation’s history.” Romanian minister on homosexuality: “We can’t legalize homosexuality. Half of the country will become homosexuals.” Bill Clinton…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeI Can’t Believe They Said That!

blonde & mosquito

How come the blonde couldn’t screw in the lightbulb? She kept breaking it with the hammer!!! What is the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking!!

(0)
Loading...

Read Jokeblonde & mosquito

Another poopie list

Someone I know found this joke for me. It made me laugh so it might work on you! Ghost Poopie- The kind where you feel the poopie come out, but there’s no poopie in the toilet. Clean Poopie- The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there’s nothing on the toilet paper. Wet Poopie- The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeAnother poopie list

A Southern View of Yankees

ARE NORTHERNERS “BLUE-NECKS”? By now I’m sure that you have heard all the Redneck jokes. Now here are some takes on how Southern folks look at their Northern cousins: YOU JUST MIGHT BE A YANKEE IF: 1. You think barbecue is a verb meaning “to cook outside.” 2. You think Heinz Ketchup is really SPICY! 3. You don’t have any problems pronouncing “Worcestershire sauce” correctly. 4. For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes au gratin to grits. 5. You don’t know…

(2)Loading...

Read JokeA Southern View of Yankees

Two Missionaries In Hot Water

In the deepest jungles of Africa, two missionaries were seized by a tribe of hostile cannibals. The cannibals then stripped the missionaries of their clothing, hogtied them and threw them into a large vat of hot boiling water over an open fire with the intention of boiling them alive. As the missionaries kept praying for a miracle, one of them suddenly burst out laughing. This made the other missionary so confused by his companion’s sudden burst of laughter that he…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeTwo Missionaries In Hot Water

Stupid Car Accident Excuses

Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don’t have. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions. I thought my window was down, but found out it was up when I put my hand through it. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way. A truck backed through my windshield into my wife’s face. A pedestrian hit me and went under my car. The guy was all…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeStupid Car Accident Excuses