Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Dear Sir, My friend, Ed Peterson, over at Wells, Iowa, received a check for $1,000 from the government for not raising hogs. So I want to go into the “not raising hogs” business next year. What I want to know is, in your opinion, what is the best kind of farm not to raise hogs on, and what is the best breed of hogs not to raise? I want to be sure that I approach this endeavor in keeping with…
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A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, “When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip.” So next Sunday he took the monsignor’s advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He…
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A voluptuous blonde was short on cash and came up with a plan to make some money. She decided to go into some local bars and bet some of the patrons that she had a better poem/rhyme than anything they could come up with. (As long as it was a poem/rhyme also). The only problem was she didn’t have enough money for the kind of bet she wanted to make and therefore provided the condition that if they won she…
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A first grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asks, “Johnny! What is your problem?!” Johnny says, “I’m too smart for the first grade. My sister’s in the third grade and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third grade!” The teacher had had enough. As a result, she took Johnny to the principal’s office and explained Johnny’s request. While Johnny waited in the outer office, the teacher explained the…
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Cupid asked his mother (the goddess of love), Aphrodite if Clinton really did cheat on his wife. It goes something like this…. “Mom, you know a lot about love, marriage, and adultury, did Bill Clinton really cheat on his wife, with Monica Lewinsky?” “Yes, but he didn’t mean to.” “That f**king a**hole!” “Hey, don’t speak about your father like that!”
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A bear & rabbit are takin’ a shit in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, “Excuse me, but do you heve trouble with shit sticking to your fur?” The rabbit replies, “No,I don’t.” So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit.
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14. Got to Get You Off of My Wife 13. She Came In Through John’s Fragile Ego 12. She’s a Woman (Who Was a Man) 11. Can’t Buy Me Love (But Can Rent It by the Hour for 300 Big Ones) 10. Polyurethane Pam Anderson 9. Crackbird 8. Lucy In The Sky With Linus 7. Eleanor Furby 6. All You Need is Drugs 5. Nor-Region Woody 4. She Came in Through the White House Window 3. While My Guitar Gently…
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President Clinton was at the beach and got into trouble while swimming. He called for help, and three young men went to his rescue and pulled him ashore. Clinton wanted to show his gratitude, so he offered to give each of the young men what they would like, within reason. The first young man said that he would like to have a Harley Davidson motorcycle. Clinton told him he could select it and to just send him the bill. The…
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15. Grunge look makes it tough to tell living from the undead. 14. Nutrasweet or not, fat-free blood tastes like crap. 13. Hard to get a decent puncture with latex on your fangs. 12. Three Words: Daylight Savings Time 11. Can’t enjoy a meal at Burger King without some redneck yelling, “Look Ma! It’s Elvis!” 10. After 45 years of Communist rule, it’s impossible to find clean, uncontaminated Transylvanian soil for bottom of coffin. 9. After 100 years of trying,…
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A man and his wife were driving through Arkansas on his way from New York to California. Looking at his fuel gauge, he decides to stop at the next gasoline station and fill up. About 15 minutes later, he spots a Shell station and pulls over to the high octane pump. “What can I do fer ya’ll?” asks the attendant. “Fill her up with high test,” replies the driver. While the attendant is filling up the tank, he’s looking the…
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